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Dec 22nd, 2024, 9:23am
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Topic: Can We Still Be Friends? (Read 1430 times) |
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Bite_Me
Beginner
 Philippines
# 95
Hmmmm...
Posts: 44
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Can We Still Be Friends?
« on: Jun 1st, 2004, 10:33am » |
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I've been asked this questions at least three times by people i broke up with, broke up with me or fought with on the verge of a break up.
Can you really? Stay friends with an ex?
Let's hear it roomies.
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| « Last Edit: Mar 27th, 2005, 11:17pm by Need4Speed8DaleJr » |
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okasantina
Premier Expert
 Yokohama, Japan
# 4
***~~QuEeNbEe~~ ***
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Posts: 2744
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Re: Can we still be friends?
« Reply #1 on: Jun 1st, 2004, 11:18am » |
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 There are no easy cut and dry guidelines for "friends" after the breakup. For instance, how honest where the both of you during the breakup..did either have a pitcher warmin up in the bullpen. Whose idea was this breakup, was it mutual..or do you need a security blanket. 
In my case...am still friends with my ex, We broke up with no hard feelings, it was just not the right time for us to be together. But recently ran into each other Now I can't imagine how I spent so long without him somehow in my life. We are truely soulmates I believe. So yes, I do think you can be friends with an ex as long as their are no hard feelings.
Eventhough it was terribly painful for both of us, but there was never any anger on my part. I got mad at one point, but apologized and said something that's probably the most meaningful compliment I've ever recieved. When he said like...."I realized, you only meet so many awesome people in your life, and it's too sad to lose the best one even for a little bit."
So, I guess my question was more "does anyone have advice about staying friends with an ex?" because I want to, it's just hard not to be awkward right now. I guess it probably just takes time... 
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teagirl
Beginner
 Wellington
# 1046
carpe diem
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Posts: 87
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Re: Can we still be friends?
« Reply #2 on: Jun 1st, 2004, 4:49pm » |
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Wow TinZZZZZZZ! What you wrote there is so true and I know where you are coming from. When my ex and broke up, I wouldnt hear his pleas for friendship. However, as the hurts became blunted (they are never completely gone, you know)---I know and realized that I do value him as a person and as a friend. I know things will never be the same between us but I can feel that he really treasures me as someone special in his life. Maybe we are better off as friends---I dont know but til now, my ex remembers my birthday and special occasions. What really touched me was when he learned that I have gone back to training, he sent me a stethoscope. How can that not melt my heart? Its not the gift, dont get me wrong---I have 6 stethoscopes. But my favorite one to use? The one he gave me.
Its not the same. When we broke up, not only did I feel I was gutted alive but it seemed like I am missing an essential part of me. Our break up was ugly. I slammed at him and called him names. In the end after so many soul searching, I understood and accepted. Yeah, I guess we can be friends. We are friends---he 's my confidante and my support. No guy can ever measure up to him. No I'm not in love with him anymore. Its just that I'm not even friends with my other ex's as I find it a travesty to be friends with people I dont hold in high regard.
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| « Last Edit: Jun 10th, 2004, 2:42pm by teagirl » |
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I love to sing in the shower. I'm good, too! All my shampoos think so.
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MissFartyPants
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Re: Can we still be friends?
« Reply #3 on: Jun 1st, 2004, 11:25pm » |
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Only had one ex. (Thank God!)
That said, I'll NEVER want to be friends with my psycho ex.
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mylane
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Re: Can we still be friends?
« Reply #4 on: Jun 7th, 2004, 12:50pm » |
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I think it all depends on the situation on how the two lovers drifted apart.
If it is mutual decision then preserving the frendship would not be that hard.
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Hernando
Intermediate
# 77
I love YaBB 1G - SP1!
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Re: Can we still be friends?
« Reply #5 on: Jun 10th, 2004, 2:36pm » |
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I agree with you mylane 
so can we still be frends huh?
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kim
Premier Expert
my house
# 52
Don't cry coz its over. Smile coz it happened
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Re: Can we still be friends?
« Reply #6 on: Jun 23rd, 2004, 6:09am » |
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i think it depends on who the ex is. i had a bf once that was my good friend before we became lovers. He cheated on me n broke up with me. For a long time i didn't even want to hear his name. But after atleast 6 years we saw each other and had a chance to talk about the past n what happened n why it went wrong and now we are very good friends. Because we started out as friends n i wanted to keep that friendship...
Its actually up to both parties if they still want to become friends after the brake up. And if there is no hiden agenda. I know one ex bf of mine that wanted to still e my friend so he can use me as a spare tire when his girlfriends should dump him.. what an asshole
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True strength is being able to hold it all together when everyone else is expecting you to fall apart...
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okasantina
Premier Expert
Yokohama, Japan
# 4
***~~QuEeNbEe~~ ***
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Posts: 2744
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Re: Can we still be friends?
« Reply #7 on: Feb 13th, 2005, 6:04pm » |
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I feel u there kimmy baby
I guess after u have learned to let it go..then acceptance can finally come in the end and the friendship may start from there i think ... unless u feel still something for him ... well that just explains why u dont like to be friend w him
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wildheart41004
Premier Expert
Augusta KY
# 181
Smile! God loves you!
 
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Posts: 1929
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Re: Can we still be friends?
« Reply #8 on: Feb 13th, 2005, 6:35pm » |
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friends maybe, but not as friendly as once were
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mylane
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Re: Can we still be friends?
« Reply #9 on: Feb 18th, 2005, 7:46pm » |
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well most of my ex boyfrends are all my friends...never had a problem talking nor communicating with them. I also asked help from them once in a while....like if im having problem with my codes or computer setup and some images or graphics.
But i think Im too friendly with them that they asked me a favor to investigate their current gurlfrends....hahahha...its really kewl.
There is only one ex that completely disappeared and never contact me no more....I hope he is still alive...hahahhaha
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| « Last Edit: Feb 18th, 2005, 7:50pm by mylane » |
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