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Dec 22nd, 2024, 9:02am
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Topic: Women Playing Hard To Get (Read 2700 times) |
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thebeast
Superior
 Frisco TX
# 19
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Women Playing Hard To Get
« on: Oct 31st, 2005, 7:11pm » |
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Women who play hard to get are just playing games with a males mind. Its no different than a man who lies and cheats. My mother told me if she plays hard to get whats to say she will not be hard to deal with on other issues. She never told me a woman playing hard to get would be worth it or wouldnt be worth it. Well to me...especially now that I am older.. I have no time to play games. In other words if you like me let me know if not then let me go. Answers like well... I never said I didnt like you..is an answer by a woman who is playing hard to get. Dudes post some stories of women playing hard to get and gals post the reasons y u do this.
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Need4Speed8DaleJr
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Re: Women Playing Hard To Get
« Reply #1 on: Oct 31st, 2005, 8:16pm » |
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Joel...
Now this is a Good Topic. lol
When I worked in a store about 8 yrs ago there was this beautiful PI Gal who worked on cash. She had this nice smile and I liked her instantly. Well...to make a long story short, I persued her for what seemed like a month. No Luck. She NEVER took the bait. I would suggest that we go see a movie together, she told me she went to a great restaurant on her day off and I would suggest we go there together. Nothing. lol. I was very discreet when talking to her and most of the time we took our lunch break at the same time. Well after a month of no response I gave up since there were other Gals who worked there who made it clear to me they wanted to go out with me. I very discreetly started dating another Gal. About 5 or so yr later the PI Gal had the assistant manager call me in the office and ask me right out if I had any feelings for the PI woman because the PI Gal wanted to know, and that she expressed interest in dating me. HaaaaaaaaaaHaaaaaaaaaHahahaha!!
I NEVER could understand why she just didn't go out with me when I first started working there, and NOW after almost 5 yrs or so she wanted to date me??!! PLeazzzzeeeee. I have better things to do than to play games or wait around. Life is Waaayyy too short for that.
I later found out that someone else was interested in her, but she secretly was in Love with me. She had to ask me how I felt about her to know for certain, so that she could move on and date/marry this other dude.
I will never understand Gals who play hard to get. I consider it playing games. I also agree with Joel's Mom. lol. I think She is right, people who play games are hard to deal with on other matters.
On the subject of some of the Gals in AC1. Hmmm...Where do I begin? lmao Ok..Most of the Gals there play some serious head games, Including Hard to Get. They all talk with each other about who-likes-whom and they make it pretty clear to the other Gals to stay away from him. THEN...after about 2 months or so of Pm'ing, they just loose interest....wanna know why? They are playing hard to get...or maybe they are used to guys who just fall all over themselves to chat with them and to tell them how pretty they look and all that other crap. And when that doesn't come...Look Out! They get Crazy. They start to ask questions....personal questions. They just wanna see how far they can toy with him. There are some Seriously Twisted Gals out there. But Hey...Attention knows No Bounds.
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CooCHie
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 Dreamland
# 12
Fart Knockers
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Re: Women Playing Hard To Get
« Reply #2 on: Oct 31st, 2005, 9:42pm » |
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All the world's a dating game and all the men and women merely players. Men are taught to play hard to get in order to seem more attractive to women, while women, usually on the receiving end of the "pickup," are conditioned to be a challenge, like a porcupine whose quills stand up on end when on the defensive.
Dating is a game and if it wasn't, it wouldn't be as much fun. If you've successfully dated every woman you approached, you might have one hell of an ego but in the grand scheme of things, you wouldn't have any fun. As aggravating as it is to pace around your living room, wondering whether she's interested in you or not, the challenge of it all makes dating more exciting.
So why is this woman never accepting a date or returning your calls? Well, she already knows but it's up to you to find out.
the pickup
Exhibit A
She's at the same old bar with the same old friends, in her little miniskirt and halter-top. You see her from a distance and she's constantly looking your way. You approach her with your sinister glare and killer smile, and you even use the approach that has never failed you before. But for some reason, this fish ain't biting.
Verdict
Granted, she goes out dressed to kill with her guns pointing right in your direction, but that doesn't mean she wants you to approach her. She wants men to look her way and she would be upset if they didn't. But when men do gawk and approach, she doesn't want to be made to feel like a piece of meat. She's therefore going to be standoffish, unless you don't treat her like a mission of yours.
the call
Exhibit B
You've beaten the odds and gotten her number, but that's only half the battle; you haven't called and asked her out yet. You dial her digits and lo and behold, you get her answering machine. "Hi Sandy, it's Mark. I met you on Saturday night at Alley Kats. Just wanted to say hi and see how you're doing. You can reach me at 555-5959. Speak to you soon, Mark."
Two days pass and she still hasn't called you back. You call her again and happen to catch her answering the phone. She apologizes for not having called you earlier but she was busy, busy, busy.
Verdict
Why didn't she call you when she had the chance? The same reason you would play hard to get with her. She's playing her cards right, and doesn't want to look too available. She wants to be pursued and wants you to think she's calm and collected, even though her heart may skip a beat when the phone rings.
Remember that appeal and interest usually increase relative to the challenge involved. If she were available whenever you wanted, called you all the time, and slept with you after one night, you would lose interest quicker because the hunt is over. You have her in your back pocket, along with the home, work, cell, and fax numbers that she gave you. But if she keeps you guessing and doesn't tell you what she's doing Friday night after she declines your date, you're left intrigued.
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CooCHie
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Dreamland
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Re: Women Playing Hard To Get
« Reply #3 on: Oct 31st, 2005, 9:43pm » |
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the invitation
Exhibit C
It's Wednesday night and you want to call her so that you can secure reservations at a trendy Moroccan restaurant, and impress her with your good taste in cuisine and atmosphere. She says she's busy on Friday night, and when you ask her about Saturday, she replies that she's taking her aunt to the airport. Is she busy for lunch? One day she has to take her cat to the vet and the other day she has to take her mother shopping. Frustrated and fresh out of ideas (you were close to suggesting driving her and her cat to the vet but decided against it), you tell her to call you when she's ready to do something (or at least consider it). She has your number -- you gave it to her 3 times, area code and all -- but still no call. VerdictIf a woman has your number and has declined two of your invitations without mentioning the possibility of a future date, she's not playing hard to get; she's playing hard to never get. If she were interested, she would call you at some point or at least apologize for being so busy and give you a future possibility, like mentioning that next week is much better for her and that the two of you can go out then. If she's busy all the time and makes no attempt to keep the window of possibility open, it's clear she doesn't want to waste either of your time. Move on, game over. the date
Exhibit D
On the other hand, if she does accept your invitation for a date and the two of you secure the time and place, then you're still in the game, buddy. You take her to the Moroccan place you had in mind and everything is going great -- the conversation, chemistry and couscous -- you may just stand a chance with her. At the end of the night, you take her hand and lean over to kiss her once you arrive at the romantic waterfall down the street. She pulls away shyly and walks the other way towards the car. VerdictWhy the sudden disinterest? She may not trust you right away. She has either been hurt in the past, or her friends have been hurt, or she has heard her male friends boasting about how they succeeded to ditch a woman after having sex with her. Her distrust and intuition cause her to play hard to get with you. She doesn't want to get sucked into whatever game you may or may not be playing and she's protecting herself from getting hurt. Men don't give women enough credit, and don't realize that even if a woman has had only the best of romantic experiences, she has a natural instinct, a sixth sense if you will, that you can't mess with. So if she's proving to be more of a challenge than you anticipated, then she may just be testing the waters with you. the relationship
Exhibit E
Everything with you and the woman of your dreams is going great but she's still holding her guard with you. You want to go away for a weekend, but she's still hesitant about those plans. VerdictAlthough men are less likely to commit to a relationship, when they do fall for a woman in particular, they are usually surer about it than their female counterparts. Men aren't as likely to ask hypothetical questions such as "what if I meet someone at work?" and "what if she's not Ms. Right?" Women, on the other hand, ask themselves too many questions in order to figure out whether you're the man they have been looking for their whole life.
how do you plea?
Playing hard to get is part of the dating game, not to mention the part that makes it fun. And you shouldn't let her do all the playing -- when you're pursuing a woman, play the part of the challenge too. While she declines invitations and doesn't return your calls, you should make it clear that you're busy and have your own life as well. Once you show her that your life revolves around her (at least too early on), she will never want to be part of that world. Both parties are armed with their rules and methods of playing the game, in the hopes of winning the ultimate prize. Once you know why women play hard to get, whether it's in order to be pursued, be cautious, or because they're simply not interested, at least you'll have the upper hand in the game and you'll know if and when to move on to the next player.
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| « Last Edit: Oct 31st, 2005, 9:53pm by CooCHie » |
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CooCHie
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Dreamland
# 12
Fart Knockers
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Re: Women Playing Hard To Get
« Reply #4 on: Oct 31st, 2005, 10:00pm » |
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Like my biatch said " Woman are complex!"
THe more u can understand them, the better the relationship would be.
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thebeast
Superior
Frisco TX
# 19
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Re: Women Playing Hard To Get
« Reply #5 on: Nov 1st, 2005, 2:06am » |
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Well cooch....first of all those are all hypothetical situations..unless she used actual people in her experiment. And human beings are not lab rats. So how would she know this to be accurate. If its hypothetical it isnt accuarate and if she did use males and females in her experiment, which I highly doubt she did, how did she come up with her conclusions? You cant expect to do an experiment in a uncontroled atmoshere like dating between men and women and come up with accurate information. When has anything emotional as romance, love, dating or whatever else dealing with the actions and reactions of the human mind been accurate information. Maybe she just interviewed a bunch of people and drew her own conclusions from that. If she did its not accurate info either. When something like dating is asked to others lots of jealousy, vengence, and emoitonal responses are given. Thats just a womans opinion is all. No basis to it whatsoever. And also this article was written by a woman..so its only natural that it is a womans point of view. How could she possible know what a male is doing or up to or his intentions? She is a woman.
The simple fact is when both men and women become adults they expect more from each other. Dating for a male in his 30s, 40s, or even 50s is not the same as the dating he did when he was in his teens and 20's. Sure there will be those who play games while dating or trying to date each other...but those are the immature ones who do not know what they want and the ones who are so scared they forgot what it was supposed to be about to begin with. I am at the age now, where I know exactly what I want. I dont need to play hard to get or with anyones mind. If i wanted to play hard to get and the games that go along with it I would go to the club and meet women there. I wouldnt be asking any female out on a romantic date to mess with her mind. And I wouldnt expect the woman I ask to do the same with me. And since when did not getting what you want become a fun thing ? Maybe it is fun for the woman playing hard to get? But not for the man who wants more out of a woman than just mind games. I say beating around the bush gets you nowhere especially when you want to progress. Men and women will never understand each other completely. Just not possible. Maybe a gay guy can understand a woman better than a straight one..but a gay guy doesnt do a woman much good does he? What straight males and females can do is accept each other for being a male and female. If either sex tries to understand each other completely just gonna be a lot of confusion and arguments. Acceptance is the key not understanding. A man can no more be a woman no more than a woman can be a man. These are my words and not ment to offend anyone. And I dont need any article to back them up because I know them to be true and honest. Its just common sense. Others can post all the Sigmund Freud or whoever else you want...but when you use others words common sense tends to be thrown out the door. 
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| « Last Edit: Nov 1st, 2005, 2:40am by thebeast » |
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Wicked_Witch
Premier Expert
 Manila
# 201
I'm not old, you are just younger. Hehehe!
 
 
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Re: Women Playing Hard To Get
« Reply #6 on: Nov 1st, 2005, 2:36am » |
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Well, Joel...have you guys ever considered that maybe....just maybe the woman really is not playing a "mind games" with you but just making sure you guys are for real and not just taking the woman for a ride? Heck...it's bad for a female's ego when the man professes "undying" interests in a woman, then she goes inside the room and see him flirting left and right!(this is for ONLINE dating) Or maybe the woman is not really interested in the man but she just doesn't have the heart to put it in words? Or that maybe the woman really, really likes you but then....so are the other guys around? The possibilities are endless....so maybe I can just advice you guys to look deeper into your case and find out first what the woman is like on the inside? Is she the flirty type? If she is then she's not playing a mind games with you but she just don't want to make commitments and lose the other guy's attentions? Or is she the serious type? If she is, then she will not make a move unless she can get a commitment out of you? If she's the happy-go-lucky type, maybe she just want to have fun and don't want any form of attachments with anyone?...Or maybe the woman is also interested but that she is already taken and can't admit it to you for fear you will lose interests in her? Like i said...dig deeper 
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| « Last Edit: Nov 1st, 2005, 2:43am by Wicked_Witch » |
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CooCHie
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Dreamland
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Re: Women Playing Hard To Get
« Reply #7 on: Nov 1st, 2005, 4:18am » |
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WEll Joel, in almost everything we do there is always a trial and error, experiment,challenges, theories to be proven and so on ...Going through the things we do.. there is always trial and error., challenges we play and encounter... experiences back up our theories and conclusions..Sigmund Freud gives us a better understanding of how our ego affects us..books..we read to better understand how and what is all about..all these are facts of life and theories helps us understand how we evolves in this world. Its the same scenario I had given that explain why woman became the way they are..however, there are some people that does not understand...dig what is deep within(Witchy's excerpt) why certain people acted the way they act. interpretation of how we, women, act dictates differently. Guys in their own interpretation of woman's action is different from what woman thinks of their action...therefore understanding is the key . Acceptance on the other hands plays a rule however, even if you accept certain situation, does not mean that you agree to anything . Complexity of the situation tends to confuse once mind. This is when guys interprete gals action differently. But remember, in every woman's action, there is always a reaction and reason behind it...Understanding what is behind it is a mystery to some,and challenges to others..and likewise to a few is a game . Sensitivity to both feelings sometimes get them in submission. Understanding on the other hand, clears some doubts what we have in mind..Woman ask questions, man, confuses woman's question as nagging..therefore, ASK question directly and find out why...Guys assume things that we can read their mind..and vice versa..At this point you guys thinks that game playing begins....Mix messages that we send to each other that is out of control.(discreetly dating as Dale mention, maybe at that point, this gal thinks that you are a player...woman talks, it is their nature...so they ask around to fully understnd your intention. and yet at the sametime, find out if what their first impression is true or not about you...again this is just theories and conclusion yet our experiences backs it up for what we learn and experience in that matter. Scenarios are comparison to what we learn and experience in life..Facts we tend to believe as they are proven..Theories and experiments are a foundation and tools to understand what we believe. Everyone, has their own opinion and conclusion to something..we agree or disagree on something, yet that is our nature..Understanding to agree of what we agree tend to make it more confusing.. So therefore asking question and getting that answer will clear that misconception of why gals plays hard to get) Gals tend to seek attention, and guys tend to avoid giving attention (too insensitive to their feelings..Pride plays an important rule to a man's ego.)Ask and you get an answer..Assumption assupmtion... will not get you anywhere....Sensitivity to some, tends to get you understand how and why woman acts the way they are!!! and vice versa..Never judge a book by its cover..Read what is deep within and you better have a better understanding how it is written. WEll Joel, in almost everything we do there is always a trial and error, experiment,challenges, theories to be proven and so on ...Going through the things we do.. there is always trial and error., challenges we play and encounter... experiences back up our theories and conclusions..Sigmund Freud gives us a better understanding of how our ego affects us..books..we read to better understand how and what is all about..all these are facts of life and theories helps us understand how we evolves in this world. Its the same scenario I had given that explain why woman became the way they are..however, there are some people that does not understand...dig what is deep within(Witchy's excerpt) why certain people acted the way they act. interpretation of how we, women, act dictates differently. Guys in their own interpretation of woman's action is different from what woman thinks of their action...therefore understanding is the key . Acceptance on the other hands plays a rule however, even if you accept certain situation, does not mean that you agree to anything . Complexity of the situation tends to confuse once mind. This is when guys interprete gals action differently. But remember, in every woman's action, there is always a reaction and reason behind it...Understanding what is behind it is a mystery to some,and challenges to others..and likewise to a few is a game . Sensitivity to both feelings sometimes get them in submission. Understanding on the other hand, clears some doubts what we have in mind..Woman ask questions, man, confuses woman's question as nagging..therefore, ASK question directly and find out why...Guys assume things that we can read their mind..and vice versa..At this point you guys thinks that game playing begins....Mix messages that we send to each other that is out of control.(discreetly dating as Dale mention, maybe at that point, this gal thinks that you are a player...woman talks, it is their nature...so they ask around to fully understnd your intention. and yet at the sametime, find out if what their first impression is true or not about you...again this is just theories and conclusion yet our experiences backs it up for what we learn and experience in that matter. Scenarios are comparison to what we learn and experience in life..Facts we tend to believe as they are proven..Theories and experiments are a foundation and tools to understand what we believe. Everyone, has their own opinion and conclusion to something..we agree or disagree on something, yet that is our nature..Understanding to agree of what we agree tend to make it more confusing.. So therefore asking question and getting that answer will clear that misconception of why gals plays hard to get) Gals tend to seek attention, and guys tend to avoid giving attention (too insensitive to their feelings..Pride plays an important rule to a man's ego.)Ask and you get an answer..Assumption assupmtion... will not get you anywhere....Sensitivity to some, tends to get you understand how and why woman acts the way they are!!! and vice versa..Never judge a book by its cover..Read what is deep within and you better have a better understanding how it is written. WEll Joel, in almost everything we do there is always a trial and error, experiment,challenges, theories to be proven and so on ...Going through the things we do.. there is always trial and error., challenges we play and encounter... experiences back up our theories and conclusions..Sigmund Freud gives us a better understanding of how our ego affects us..books..we read to better understand how and what is all about..all these are facts of life and theories helps us understand how we evolves in this world. Its the same scenario I had given that explain why woman became the way they are..however, there are some people that does not understand...dig what is deep within(Witchy's excerpt) why certain people acted the way they act. interpretation of how we, women, act dictates differently. Guys in their own interpretation of woman's action is different from what woman thinks of their action...therefore understanding is the key . Acceptance on the other hands plays a rule however, even if you accept certain situation, does not mean that you agree to anything . Complexity of the situation tends to confuse once mind. This is when guys interprete gals action differently. But remember, in every woman's action, there is always a reaction and reason behind it...Understanding what is behind it is a mystery to some,and challenges to others..and likewise to a few is a game . Sensitivity to both feelings sometimes get them in submission. Understanding on the other hand, clears some doubts what we have in mind..Woman ask questions, man, confuses woman's question as nagging..therefore, ASK question directly and find out why...Guys assume things that we can read their mind..and vice versa..At this point you guys thinks that game playing begins....Mix messages that we send to each other that is out of control.(discreetly dating as Dale mention, maybe at that point, this gal thinks that you are a player...woman talks, it is their nature...so they ask around to fully understnd your intention. and yet at the sametime, find out if what their first impression is true or not about you...again this is just theories and conclusion yet our experiences backs it up for what we learn and experience in that matter. Scenarios are comparison to what we learn and experience in life..Facts we tend to believe as they are proven..Theories and experiments are a foundation and tools to understand what we believe. Everyone, has their own opinion and conclusion to something..we agree or disagree on something, yet that is our nature..Understanding to agree of what we agree tend to make it more confusing.. So therefore asking question and getting that answer will clear that misconception of why gals plays hard to get) Gals tend to seek attention, and guys tend to avoid giving attention (too insensitive to their feelings..Pride plays an important rule to a man's ego.)Ask and you get an answer..Assumption assupmtion... will not get you anywhere....Sensitivity to some, tends to get you understand how and why woman acts the way they are!!! and vice versa..Never judge a book by its cover..Read what is deep within and you better have a better understanding how it is written. WEll Joel, in almost everything we do there is always a trial and error, experiment,challenges, theories to be proven and so on ...Going through the things we do.. there is always trial and error., challenges we play and encounter... experiences back up our theories and conclusions..Sigmund Freud gives us a better understanding of how our ego affects us..books..we read to better understand how and what is all about..all these are facts of life and theories helps us understand how we evolves in this world. Its the same scenario I had given that explain why woman became the way they are..however, there are some people that does not understand...dig what is deep within(Witchy's excerpt) why certain people acted the way they act. interpretation of how we, women, act dictates differently. Guys in their own interpretation of woman's action is different from what woman thinks of their action...therefore understanding is the key . Acceptance on the other hands plays a rule however, even if you accept certain situation, does not mean that you agree to anything . Complexity of the situation tends to confuse once mind. This is when guys interprete gals action differently. But remember, in every woman's action, there is always a reaction and reason behind it...Understanding what is behind it is a mystery to some,and challenges to others..and likewise to a few is a game . Sensitivity to both feelings sometimes get them in submission. Understanding on the other hand, clears some doubts what we have in mind..Woman ask questions, man, confuses woman's question as nagging..therefore, ASK question directly and find out why...Guys assume things that we can read their mind..and vice versa..At this point you guys thinks that game playing begins....Mix messages that we send to each other that is out of control.(discreetly dating as Dale mention, maybe at that point, this gal thinks that you are a player...woman talks, it is their nature...so they ask around to fully understnd your intention. and yet at the sametime, find out if what their first impression is true or not about you...again this is just theories and conclusion yet our experiences backs it up for what we learn and experience in that matter. Scenarios are comparison to what we learn and experience in life..Facts we tend to believe as they are proven..Theories and experiments are a foundation and tools to understand what we believe. Everyone, has their own opinion and conclusion to something..we agree or disagree on something, yet that is our nature..Understanding to agree of what we agree tend to make it more confusing.. So therefore asking question and getting that answer will clear that misconception of why gals plays hard to get) Gals tend to seek attention, and guys tend to avoid giving attention (too insensitive to their feelings..Pride plays an important rule to a man's ego.)Ask and you get an answer..Assumption assupmtion... will not get you anywhere....Sensitivity to some, tends to get you understand how and why woman acts the way they are!!! and vice versa..Never judge a book by its cover..Read what is deep within and you better have a better understanding how it is written.
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| « Last Edit: Nov 1st, 2005, 5:21am by CooCHie » |
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Need4Speed8DaleJr
Premier Expert
# 92
~~~~~~Neo~~~~~~
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Re: Women Playing Hard To Get
« Reply #8 on: Nov 1st, 2005, 5:06am » |
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Ok...First I think we need to clarify a few things.
Both Men & Women play "Hard to Get". But when Men do it, women call it Lying. lol Joke..Joke.
Next I think we need to set the record straight between online and face-to-face (FTF) relationships. Both are very different situations. I think Online relationships are much more Difficult because you can't always see the reaction of the other person, and very often there is sooo much more going on than what "lol" can express.
No one relationship, online or FTF, can cover what other people have been through or are gong through. Listening to each other is the most important tool we have to understanding fully just what the other person has to express. Next, talk to someone...not at them. There is a difference.
I think that Wicked_Witch has brought up some very valid points. There are always motives behind someones actions and reactions. While some people choose to "Play Around" on the Net both with Feelings and with people in General, there are just as many who don't dare do such a thing.
I just want to comment further about Men on the Net. I see alot of men online who flirt endlessly and openly with Gals. They think nothing of saying....ok...let's be Honest...Lying if you will openly to the Women because they know that's what the Women want to hear, or maybe they just want attention themselves from the Women. And because those Men do crazy things that taints most of the other Women's view of ALL Men on the Net. They view Men as a Group who always has some other reason behind what they are saying. I know that there are Women who have fallen for the lies of some Men, and later they learnt that he has told the very same line to other Women around Yahoo. That does happen...ALOT.
But what Joel is trying to say is....(I think) is when some of the Men who don't play games on the Net start to chat with a Women, they view him as only a lying player. And sometimes it can get frustrating to have to "Break Through" the Emotional Barrier to make the Gal understand that either he likes her "For Real", or that he just wants to chat with Her and be friends.
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CooCHie
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Dreamland
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Re: Women Playing Hard To Get
« Reply #9 on: Nov 1st, 2005, 6:03am » |
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Well, my advice to you Dale, the break through thing is to be yourself. There are guys that I knew of,that they chat differently when they are in the room, and when in private, they are totally the opposite. Again, same as woman, some they just joke around, some are serious and vice versa. I know it is frustrating to find out what is real and what is not real..Hey, just put it this way, I always enjoy having conversation with bots...lol..
Note: There is a way who you trust and not to trust!!!!
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Nice Guy Or An A-Hol... «- Start new topic -» Do You Still Keep P... 
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