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   Okasan's occurrences ::)

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Topic: Okasan's occurrences ::) (Read 28089 times)

okasantina
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Yokohama, Japan

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Okasan's occurrences ::)
« on: Oct 21^st, 2004, 10:23am »

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10:52 pm
Oct. 21st year 2004

*** The first day of my journal since i had my last one 14 years ago. That diary was now kept and burried inside our own backyard... i remember its my granny who kept it 2 ft under the ground.. shedding tears while looking at my book Telling to myself..that would be the first and last for me to have a diary. So many things accurences happened yet no one solved but only me...yet nobody pays attention but only that book...The scene was still here in my mind..clear and comprehensible. That was afternoon,,,i was sitting on a 3 steps concrete stairs...10 meters away from me .... sniffing and catching my breath cuz of tears....The book is under the ground now! the secrets of me being young flaunted under the world of unknown...i guess worms, and ants and other creatures under would somehow take a look at it ..to see whats inside. But i suddenly felt anew ... conceiving my mind that YES! its a start of something to look forward....a new beginning of me! And no one else but me...Hmmmmmm...well that was 14 years ago.

*** I was readin an ordinary book on parenting that suddenly came to my mind why not let myself have a journal here I know it could discourage me...unless i understand how i was created and be used. Is this i thought why i deliberately post my occurrences cuz of this book I really intend to have that book back again...but how?? a super-condenced and a quick reference about me...attitudes....values....that me as a teenager grows into a mature and succesful adult.

***** I guess i have to welcome myself here....and be part of it. Express the real ME!!!

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mylane
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Re: Okasan's occurrences ::)
« Reply #1 on: Oct 21^st, 2004, 10:30am »

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yehey....finally.....okasan's occurrences.... Grin

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okasantina
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Yokohama, Japan

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Re: Okasan's occurrences ::)
« Reply #2 on: Oct 21^st, 2004, 10:34am »

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on Oct 21^st, 2004, 10:30am, mylane wrote:

yehey....finally.....okasan's occurrences.... Grin

LOL! Cuz mymy....i know i should have done this b4 .. i still remember u told me..hey cuz...u can make ure own blog now.. but there i have to think twice .... should i?? or should i not.... but now im here....hehehe....the world of me

« Last Edit: Oct 21^st, 2004, 10:35am by okasantina »

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chelle
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Re: Okasan's occurrences ::)
« Reply #3 on: Oct 21^st, 2004, 10:59am »

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tell me which where backyard imma dig it i want to see it hahahahahhahaha

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thats the way uhuh uhuh i like it uhuh uhuh!!!!!!!!!

okasantina
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Yokohama, Japan

# 4

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Re: Okasan's occurrences ::)
« Reply #4 on: Oct 21^st, 2004, 11:04am »

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on Oct 21^st, 2004, 10:59am, chelle wrote:

tell me which where backyard imma dig it i want to see it hahahahahhahaha

Hahahaha cuzin ... remember the time when u run away from home...u live in our place...the one w big yard...4 big trees infront of the house?? Thats it! thats the place.. but i just dont know if u could ever dig that book eh...well u can try and take a look...LOL! Just knock cuz we dont live there anymore u know..... .

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okasantina
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Yokohama, Japan

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High and Low!
« Reply #5 on: Oct 22^nd, 2004, 10:55am »

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11:24
Oct. 22, 2004

Spending my day meaningless...killing time infront of my laptap...its 11 am, my son will come back from school..i have to cook lunch for them. 11:30....geesh im still here! hmmm... he is home! still no lunch yet ..”Whats for lunch Mom?” me typing and typing... “Mom! whats for lunch??” then i sudden realize...geesh its 12 now! I woke up at around 10:30 cuz i went back to bed at 7:30 nothing to do .... all was clean and done. “What son? yeah im thinkin about whats for lunch” .... me realize i have to end this typin but ... but....wait! ok brb i typed! Then went downstairs and cooked lunch for my 2 angels.. lunch was done ... cleaned all the dishes...then came back from typing..... "am back"......2 hours of talkin non-sense...while me watching the room, a pm and in the forum at the same time.... hmmmm.......me feel sleepy, my pm makes me sleepy! bores me a little! and it sucks cuz my connection is so slow........”Hmmp! I better go now” i said...Good thing my card ended! if not maybe ill be stuck chattin for another 2 hours ......”oh my! is this normal??” me talkin to myself i guess not! Yes! negative reactions and emotions are okay to express….. They’re normal even rational and healthy. Do I respond to my life so difficult like this? Can I avoid giving the impression of feeling down is wrong?? I do feel it…in my mind..in my thoughts, Its my free choice! Oh my! How can I control my emotions when circumstances cannot control me, it’s the mood …it’s the situation…how can I respond to decide controlling myself? I often try to meet my legitimate needs ……… should I say attention from others? How can I meet my needs contructively? Geesh I wish I know the answer…..its only me who can discover… So whats my high?? High? is when i cooked lunch for my kids? or is it when i kill time chattin for an hour or so....High! when my son asked me " MOM whats for dinner?" thats it ..LOW?? low is when i feel guilty of not cookin lunch on time...thats it! thats my day!

11:54

« Last Edit: Oct 22^nd, 2004, 11:54am by okasantina »

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