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Dec 22nd, 2024, 4:02am
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Topic: Make Me Laugh (Read 12602 times) |
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CooCHie
Premier Expert
 Dreamland
# 12
Fart Knockers
Posts: 1535
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Make Me Laugh
« on: Jan 15th, 2004, 7:33pm » |
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 Place to be funny!!!Post anything that makes us laugh!!!!!Jokes, things happen in act one today, jokes you remember!!!!
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The greatest thing in this world is being alive...we only live once..Treat yourself everyday as if it is your last day!!Life is precious to ignore!!Be happy!!
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mylane
Guest
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can i just tickle u? huh coochie?
The parrot
An old man was sitting on a bench in the mall when a young man with spiked hair came over and sat down beside him. The boy's hair was yellow, green, orange, and purple. He had black make up around his eyes.
The old man just stared at him. With an attitude, the boy said, "What's the matter old man, haven't you ever done anything wild in your life?"
The old man answered, "Well yes, actually I have. I got drunk once and I had sex with a parrot. I was wondering if you were my son.
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thebeast
Superior
 Frisco TX
# 19
Gender: 
Posts: 995
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Re: Make Me Laugh
« Reply #2 on: Jan 16th, 2004, 11:50pm » |
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Coochie here are some old chinese proverbs maybe they make u laugh
CHINESE PROVERBS
Virginity like bubble, one prick, all gone.
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Man who run in front of car get tired.
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Man who run behind car get exhausted.
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Man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day.
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Foolish man give wife grand piano, wise man give wife upright organ.
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Man who walk through airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok.
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Man who scratch ass should not bite fingernails. *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Man who eat many prunes get good run for money. *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Baseball is wrong: man with four balls cannot walk. *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
War does not determine who is right, war determine who is left.
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Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cat house.
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Man who fight with wife all day get no piece at night. *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
It take many nails to build crib, but one screw to fill it. *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Man who drive like hell, bound to get there.
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Man who stand on toilet is high on pot.
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Man who live in glass house should change clothes in basement.
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Man who fish in other man's well often catch crabs. *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Man who fart in church sit in own pew.
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Crowded elevator smell different to midget.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
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CooCHie
Premier Expert
Dreamland
# 12
Fart Knockers
Posts: 1535
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Re: Make Me Laugh
« Reply #4 on: Jan 17th, 2004, 3:11pm » |
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definitely Mymy....you got my tickled spot...oh lalala
Ha!ha!ha! Good one Mymy
Beast nice one!!!!!hi!hi!hi!
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The greatest thing in this world is being alive...we only live once..Treat yourself everyday as if it is your last day!!Life is precious to ignore!!Be happy!!
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thebeast
Superior
Frisco TX
# 19
Gender:
Posts: 995
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Re: Make Me Laugh
« Reply #5 on: Jan 19th, 2004, 10:23pm » |
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Police Officer O'Leary is cruising around in his patrol car one night.
He's on the lookout for trouble. He sees two little old ladies in the front seat of a Chevrolet convertible, parked in a used car lot.
The car lot is closed so O'Leary drives up alongside the Chevy and
asks, "Are you two ladies trying to steal this car?"
"Certainly not," says one of the ladies, "we purchased the car this
afternoon."
"Well," says the cop, "why don't you start it up and drive out of
here?"
"We don't drive," replies the other little old lady.
"And besides we are waiting".
"What are you waiting for?", asked the cop.
The old lady sitting in the drivers seat replies," We were told that if we bought a car here we would get screwed."
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thebeast
Superior
Frisco TX
# 19
Gender:
Posts: 995
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Re: Make Me Laugh
« Reply #6 on: Jan 19th, 2004, 10:26pm » |
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this joke is called the fast thinking texan
A man walked into the produce section of his local supermarket, and
asked to buy half a head of lettuce. The boy working in that department
told him that they only sold whole heads of lettuce. The man was
insistent that the boy ask his manager about the matter.
Walking into the back room, the boy said to the manager "Some butthole
wants to buy half a head of lettuce." As he finished his sentence, he
turned to find the man standing right behind him, so he added, "And
this gentleman kindly offered to buy the other half."
The manager approved the deal, and the man went on his way.
Later the manager said to the boy, "I was impressed with the way you
got yourself out of that situation earlier. We like people who think on
their feet here. Where are you from, son?"
"Texas, sir," the boy replied.
"Well, why did you leave Texas?" the manager asked.
The boy said, "Sir, there's nothing but sleepers and football players there."
"Really?" said the manager. "My wife is from Texas."
"No shit!?" replied the boy. "Who'd she play for?"
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thebeast
Superior
Frisco TX
# 19
Gender:
Posts: 995
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Re: Make Me Laugh
« Reply #7 on: Jan 19th, 2004, 10:29pm » |
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damn the joke would of been a lot more funny if the fowl language was left in Cap u gotta fix this
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thebeast
Superior
Frisco TX
# 19
Gender:
Posts: 995
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Re: Make Me Laugh
« Reply #8 on: Jan 19th, 2004, 10:37pm » |
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Subject: BODY MEETING
All the organs of the body were having a meeting,
trying to decide who was the one in charge.
"I should be in charge," said the brain, "because I
run all the body's systems, so without me nothing
would happen".
"I should be in charge," said the blood, "because I
circulate oxygen all over so without me you'd all
waste away."
"I should be in charge," said the stomach," because I
process food and give all of you energy."
"I should be in charge," said the legs, "because I
carry the body wherever it needs to go."
"I should be in charge," said the eyes, "because I
allow the body to see where it goes."
"I should be in charge," said the rectum, "Because I'm
responsible for waste removal."
All the other body parts laughed at the rectum and
insulted him, so in a huff, he shut down tight.
Within a few days, the brain had a terrible headache,
the stomach was bloated, the legs got wobbly, the eyes
got watery, and the blood was toxic. They all decided
that the rectum should be the boss.
The Moral of the story?
The asshole is usually in charge.
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thebeast
Superior
Frisco TX
# 19
Gender:
Posts: 995
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Re: Make Me Laugh
« Reply #9 on: Jan 19th, 2004, 10:39pm » |
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the not very nice person should be
the a**hole is usually in charge
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