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Dec 21st, 2024, 9:52pm
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Topic: Maddmadden and Mylane Jokes (Read 3243 times) |
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tarantada
Beginner
# 20
tarantada ako
Posts: 205
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Maddmadden and Mylane Jokes
« on: Feb 26th, 2004, 11:40pm » |
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Madd and Mylane went to a fair. Mylane was fascinated by the airplanes and asked a pilot how much a ride would cost. "$10 for 3 minutes," replied the pilot.
"That's too much," Mylane said. The pilot thought for a second and then said, "I'll make you a deal. If you and your husband ride for 3 minutes without uttering a sound, the ride will be free. But if you make a sound, you'll have to pay $10."
Madd and Mylane agreed and went for a wild ride. After they landed, the pilot said to Mylane, "I want to congratulate you for not making a sound. You are a brave woman."
"Maybe so," said Mylane, "But I gotta tell ya, I almost screamed when my husband fell out."
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| « Last Edit: Nov 30th, 2005, 2:27am by Need4Speed8DaleJr » |
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tarantada
Beginner
# 20
tarantada ako
Posts: 205
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Re: Maddmadden and Mylane Jokes
« Reply #1 on: Feb 26th, 2004, 11:42pm » |
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Madd comes into a pharmacy and asks for a vial of Cyanide. The pharmacist, trying to keep a professional posture, asked what he wanted it for.
He answered, "I want to kill my wife."
"I'm sorry Sir," the pharmacist replied, "but you will have to understand under such circumstances I can't sell you any Cyanide."
Madd reaches into his wallet and produces a photo of his wife, Mylane.
The pharmacist blushes and replies, "I am sorry Sir, I didn't realize you had a prescription."
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ReeBop
Administrator
 Arlington TX
# 3
1fw Messenger: reebop@imchat.h opto.org
   
 
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Posts: 1237
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Re: Maddmadden and Mylane Jokes
« Reply #2 on: Feb 26th, 2004, 11:58pm » |
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hahahahahhahahahahahhahahahhahahahahhhahahahahha
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Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read. - Groucho Marx
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madd
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# 14
Posts: 632
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Re: Maddmadden and Mylane Jokes
« Reply #3 on: Feb 27th, 2004, 7:18pm » |
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hahahahahahahahahaha
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mylane
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Re: Maddmadden and Mylane Jokes
« Reply #4 on: Feb 27th, 2004, 10:27pm » |
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lol..i think i should be the one buying cyanide to kill matthew lol
nice one tarantada
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madd
Certified
# 14
Posts: 632
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Re: Maddmadden and Mylane Jokes
« Reply #5 on: Feb 27th, 2004, 10:30pm » |
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nah mylene, i'll be gracious and save the cyanide for you.
i'll even put it in your food
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tarantada
Beginner
# 20
tarantada ako
Posts: 205
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Re: Maddmadden and Mylane Jokes
« Reply #6 on: Feb 27th, 2004, 10:48pm » |
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okie all for a good laugh
Letter explaining why Mylane stole Madd from his ex!
To Madd's ex,
I am not surprise or wander why Madd leave you. Why?
What reason you can think about but you're very fat body. I thought before that Madd only use me to his toy but sooner an! d later I'm realize that he really can't not beared or stomached to be with you anymore because at first, Madd say he could not stand you're habit of always calling to their house what he go home or this or that.
And then he say he get ashame to met iether in school or in his family and then asking you to exercise you're very very, very fat body. But you hate it. Thought your the most preetiest girls he knows about.
What do you think you are "Beautiful Girl" of Jose Marie Chan?
Even you are beautiful face (to your think) you do not have the right to called me whatsoever or else different name one time or the other for the real purposed to insults my personality because I'm never call you names ether in the front of Madd or in the backs of Madd, but if you start already to calling me different name, I don't! have any other choice but to call you other different name to. Like you are a PIG, FAT, OBESSED, OVERWIGHT, AND UGLY SHAPE girl.
Shame to you're body that is to a SUMO WRESTLER. You can't not blame Madd for exchanging you to me because I am the more sexier than you when you look to us in the mirror. I'm repeat again that you are like ANDRE D GIANT IF she is a girl.
Love,
The Sexiest Girl of PI
Mylane
P.S. You say that I'm the bad breathe but who is Madd want to kissed. Me or you? You or me? And the final is me. There you go.
hehehehe
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| « Last Edit: Feb 27th, 2004, 10:53pm by tarantada » |
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mylane
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Re: Maddmadden and Mylane Jokes
« Reply #7 on: Feb 29th, 2004, 10:28am » |
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Mylane: Slapped Madd
Mylane: Who's that tarantada in you dreams?
Madd: Thats the name of my BET horse.
NEXT DAY...Mylane slapped madd again.
Madd: why?
Mylane: Your horse called.
hehehehe;D
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CooCHie
Premier Expert
 Dreamland
# 12
Fart Knockers
Posts: 1535
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Re: Maddmadden and Mylane Jokes
« Reply #8 on: Mar 2nd, 2004, 10:19pm » |
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Madd went to Philippines. The jeepney driver drop him off by mistake in the flea market. As he was walking along the alley, he saw one vendor selling his male chicken or another word cock...so Madd stop for a moment to ask how much the vendor is selling for...the vendor then reply.."Oh I m selling this cock for 500 pesos Joe"..So Madd reach out and handed the vendor 500 pesos...Madd start walking with one hand holding the cock. A few minutes after, his eye catches something spectacular looking.. So as he came near to another vendor, he sees this female chicken...another word in french is poulet ( pronounce pull it)..so again he asks the vendor how much he is selling..the vendor reply 600 pesos senior..then madd paid the vendor and start walking again with his poulet on one hand while his other hand still holding the cock. ..then all of a sudden he sees this donkey being drag by his owner..So as you expect..Madd had to ask why the guy is having a hard time with the donkey...Then the owner said that he is trying to sell his donkey....so Madd think for a second and said to himself."what the heck I can use a donkey with this walking i have been doing"...so he asks how much the guy is selling for..however, the owner said to madd that there is a slight problem with the donkey..so Madd asks " what is the problem" The owner replied " well, first of all you have to call this donkey by its name, which is ass" Second, he has the habbit to stop in the middle of the road so you have to scratch his back." So Madd said back " No problemo I can deal with that" so he paid the owner 12,000 pesos . While Madd is dragging ass with his handful, ass suddenly stopped in the middle of the road...Luckily Mylene happen to pass by Madd...so Madd ask Mylene politely " Miss can you do me a favor?" Mylene replied.."Mr. Joe what can I do for you?" Madd answered " Well, can you hold my cock and poulet (pull it) while I scratch my ass?"....guess what mylene did to Madd!!!!! 
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The greatest thing in this world is being alive...we only live once..Treat yourself everyday as if it is your last day!!Life is precious to ignore!!Be happy!!
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tarantada
Beginner
# 20
tarantada ako
Posts: 205
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Re: Maddmadden and Mylane Jokes
« Reply #9 on: Mar 3rd, 2004, 4:04am » |
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hey coochie, i don't wanna guess, you know mylane can have some violent reaction, i can imagine. hahahaha
here for more of madd and mylane jokes
Mylane accompanied Madd to the doctor's office. After his checkup, the doctor called Mylane into his office alone.
He said, "Your husband is suffering from a very severe disease, combined with horrible stress. If you don't do the following, your husband will surely die."
"Each morning, fix him a healthy breakfast. Be pleasant, and make sure he is in a good mood. For lunch make him a nutritious meal. For dinner prepare an especially nice meal for him. Don't burden him with chores, as he probably had a hard day. Don't discuss your problems with him, it will only make his stress worse. And most importantly, make love with your husband several times a week and satisfy his every whim." If you can do
this for the next 10 months to a year, I think your husband will regain his health completely.
On the way home, Madd asked Mylane .
"What did the doctor say?"
"You're going to die," she replied.
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