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Dec 22nd, 2024, 4:12am
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Topic: Beer Troubleshooting (Read 796 times) |
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MissFartyPants
Guest
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SYMPTOM: Feet cold and wet.
FAULT: Glass being held at incorrect angle.
ACTION: Rotate glass so that open end points toward ceiling.
SYMPTOM: Feet warm and wet.
FAULT: Improper bladder control.
ACTION: Stand next to nearest dog, complain about house training.
SYMPTOM: Beer unusually pale and tasteless.
FAULT: Glass empty.
ACTION: Get someone to buy you another beer.
SYMPTOM: Opposite wall covered with fluorescent lights.
FAULT: You have fallen over backward.
ACTION: Have yourself chained to bar.
SYMPTOM: Mouth contains cigarette butts.
FAULT: You have fallen forward.
ACTION: See above.
SYMPTOM: Beer tasteless, front of your shirt is wet.
FAULT: Mouth not open, or glass applied to wrong part of face.
ACTION: Retire to restroom, practice in mirror.
SYMPTOM: Floor blurred.
FAULT: You are looking through bottom of empty glass.
ACTION: Get someone to buy you another beer.
SYMPTOM: Floor moving.
FAULT: You are being carried out.
ACTION: Find out if you are being taken to another bar.
SYMPTOM: Room seems unusually dark.
FAULT: Bar has closed.
ACTION: Confirm home address with bartender, take taxi home.
SYMPTOM: Truck suddenly takes on colorful aspect and textures.
FAULT: Beer consumption has exceeded personal limitations.
ACTION: Cover mouth.
SYMPTOM: Everyone looks up to you and laughs.
FAULT: You are dancing on the table.
ACTION: Fall on somebody cushy looking.
SYMPTOM: Beer is crystal clear.
FAULT: It's water. Somebody is trying to sober you up.
ACTION: Punch him.
SYMPTOM: Hands hurt, nose hurts, mind unusually clear.
FAULT: You have been in a fight.
ACTION: Apologize to everyone you see, just in case it was them.
SYMPTOM: Don't recognize anyone, don't recognize the room you're in.
FAULT: You've wandered into the wrong party.
ACTION: See if they have free beer.
SYMPTOM: Your singing sounds distorted.
FAULT: The beer is too weak.
ACTION: Have more beer until your voice improves.
SYMPTOM: Don't remember the words to the song.
FAULT: Beer is just right.
ACTION: Play air guitar.
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| « Last Edit: May 28th, 2004, 5:51am by MissFartyPants » |
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mylane
Guest
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nice one Miss Cath 
I like this one:
SYMPTOM: Beer unusually pale and tasteless.
FAULT: Glass empty.
ACTION: Get someone to buy you another beer.
ahihihihi
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MissFartyPants
Guest
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Thanks, My!
I like everything that tells you to get another beer. 
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Need4Speed8DaleJr
Premier Expert
# 92
~~~~~~Neo~~~~~~
Gender: 
Posts: 1108
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Re: Beer Troubleshooting
« Reply #3 on: Jul 1st, 2004, 10:57pm » |
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Your Vacuum Cleaner ate my Pants...There was nothing I could do. 
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Ligaya
Certified
# 387
be RoCk ....be WiLd... ExPrEsS uR sElF!!!!
  
Gender: 
Posts: 676
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Re: Beer Troubleshooting
« Reply #4 on: Dec 4th, 2006, 2:28am » |
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 he he he !!!! i like this topic....
SYMPTOM: Beer needs more ice to to taste good..
FAULT: empty barrel ...
ACTION: grabbed the mic and sing all night...
ha ha ha!!!
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| « Last Edit: Dec 4th, 2006, 2:28am by Ligaya » |
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We come to love not by finding a perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly. *bad_day_me*
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