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   EU commission adopts English as official language
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   Author  Topic: EU commission adopts English as official language  (Read 622 times)
earthlingorgeous
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EU commission adopts English as official language
« on: Aug 16th, 2005, 9:54am »
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The European Commission has just announced an  
agreement whereby English will be the official  
language of the European Union rather than  
German, which was the other possibility. As part  
of the negotiations, the British Government  
conceded that English spelling had some room for  
improvement and has accepted a 5-year phase-in  
plan that would become known as "Euro-English".  
 
1. In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c".  
Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump  
with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour  
of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and  
keyboards kan have one less letter.  
 
2. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the  
sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be  
replaced with "f". This will make words like  
fotograf 20% shorter.  
 
3. In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new  
spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where  
more komplikated changes are possible.  
Governments will enkourage the removal of double  
letters which have always ben a deterent to  
akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the  
horibl mes of the silent "e" in the language is  
disgrasful and it should go away.  
 
4. By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps  
such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".  
 
5. During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be  
dropd from vords containing "ou" and after ziz fifz  
yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no  
mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi  
tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil  
finali kum tru.  
 
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German  
like zey vunted in ze forst plas.  
 
If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl! =)
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