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        Romance & Relationships >> Love & Relationships >> Can We Still Be Friends?
        
(Message started by: Bite_Me on Jun 1^st, 2004, 10:33am)

Title: Can We Still Be Friends?
Post by Bite_Me on Jun 1^st, 2004, 10:33am

I've been asked this questions at least three times by people i broke up with, broke up with me or fought with on the verge of a break up.

Can you really? Stay friends with an ex?

Let's hear it roomies.

Title: Re: Can we still be friends?
Post by okasantina on Jun 1^st, 2004, 11:18am

:)There are no easy cut and dry guidelines for "friends" after the breakup. For instance, how honest where the both of you during the breakup..did either have a pitcher warmin up in the bullpen. Whose idea was this breakup, was it mutual..or do you need a security blanket. ;D

In my case...am still friends with my ex, We broke up with no hard feelings, it was just not the right time for us to be together. But recently ran into each other Now I can't imagine how I spent so long without him somehow in my life. We are truely soulmates I believe. So yes, I do think you can be friends with an ex as long as their are no hard feelings.

Eventhough it was terribly painful for both of us, but there was never any anger on my part. I got mad at one point, but apologized and said something that's probably the most meaningful compliment I've ever recieved. When he said like...."I realized, you only meet so many awesome people in your life, and it's too sad to lose the best one even for a little bit."

So, I guess my question was more "does anyone have advice about staying friends with an ex?" because I want to, it's just hard not to be awkward right now. I guess it probably just takes time... :-/

Title: Re: Can we still be friends?
Post by teagirl on Jun 1^st, 2004, 4:49pm

Wow TinZZZZZZZ! What you wrote there is so true and I know where you are coming from. When my ex and broke up, I wouldnt hear his pleas for friendship. However, as the hurts became blunted (they are never completely gone, you know)---I know and realized that I do value him as a person and as a friend. I know things will never be the same between us but I can feel that he really treasures me as someone special in his life. Maybe we are better off as friends---I dont know but til now, my ex remembers my birthday and special occasions. What really touched me was when he learned that I have gone back to training, he sent me a stethoscope. How can that not melt my heart? Its not the gift, dont get me wrong---I have 6 stethoscopes. But my favorite one to use? The one he gave me.

Its not the same. When we broke up, not only did I feel I was gutted alive but it seemed like I am missing an essential part of me. Our break up was ugly. I slammed at him and called him names. In the end after so many soul searching, I understood and accepted. Yeah, I guess we can be friends. We are friends---he 's my confidante and my support. No guy can ever measure up to him. No I'm not in love with him anymore. Its just that I'm not even friends with my other ex's as I find it a travesty to be friends with people I dont hold in high regard.

Title: Re: Can we still be friends?
Post by MissFartyPants on Jun 1^st, 2004, 11:25pm

Only had one ex. (Thank God!) ;D

That said, I'll NEVER want to be friends with my psycho ex.

Title: Re: Can we still be friends?
Post by mylane on Jun 7^th, 2004, 12:50pm

I think it all depends on the situation on how the two lovers drifted apart.

If it is mutual decision then preserving the frendship would not be that hard.

Title: Re: Can we still be friends?
Post by Hernando on Jun 10^th, 2004, 2:36pm

I agree with you mylane ;)

so can we still be frends huh? ;D

Title: Re: Can we still be friends?
Post by kimmy_baby01 on Jun 23^rd, 2004, 6:09am

i think it depends on who the ex is. i had a bf once that was my good friend before we became lovers. He cheated on me n broke up with me. For a long time i didn't even want to hear his name. But after atleast 6 years we saw each other and had a chance to talk about the past n what happened n why it went wrong and now we are very good friends. Because we started out as friends n i wanted to keep that friendship...

Its actually up to both parties if they still want to become friends after the brake up. And if there is no hiden agenda. I know one ex bf of mine that wanted to still e my friend so he can use me as a spare tire when his girlfriends should dump him.. what an asshole ;D

Title: Re: Can we still be friends?
Post by okasantina on Feb 13^th, 2005, 6:04pm

I feel u there kimmy baby ;)

I guess after u have learned to let it go..then acceptance can finally come in the end and the friendship may start from there i think ... unless u feel still something for him ... well that just explains why u dont like to be friend w him ;) ;D

Title: Re: Can we still be friends?
Post by wildheart41004 on Feb 13^th, 2005, 6:35pm

friends maybe, but not as friendly as once were

Title: Re: Can we still be friends?
Post by mylane on Feb 18^th, 2005, 7:46pm

well most of my ex boyfrends are all my friends...never had a problem talking nor communicating with them. I also asked help from them once in a while....like if im having problem with my codes or computer setup and some images or graphics.

But i think Im too friendly with them that they asked me a favor to investigate their current gurlfrends....hahahha...its really kewl.

There is only one ex that completely disappeared and never contact me no more....I hope he is still alive...hahahhaha ;D

Title: Re: Can We Still Be Friends?
Post by CapuchinO on Dec 25^th, 2005, 4:01pm

hmm...sometimes yes sometimes nope...depends how and why we broke up...!!!
some of them still be friends with me...but its hard for me to act like normally friend...if they dont...so sometimes i will just try to stay away...nobody will hurt...( I HOPE) ;D

Title: Re: Can We Still Be Friends?
Post by Wicked_Witch on Dec 27^th, 2005, 6:23am

I can never be friends with an ex. He will always remind me of what happened and it will surely hurt me to see him with another girl. No matter that we parted on good terms, I will still not want to see him much more be friends with him.

Title: Re: Can We Still Be Friends?
Post by Justine on Dec 27^th, 2005, 10:38pm

on 12/27/05 at 06:23:13, Wicked_Witch wrote:

Awwws wouldn't it be nicer if you end up as friends?

Title: Re: Can We Still Be Friends?
Post by jamit2you on Dec 28^th, 2005, 4:19am

me to id could never be frinds with and ex becuse when im done and give out i would not want to befriends with her or have any thing to do with them at lest im lucky both my ex wifes live in differnt states so idont have to see them any more [smiley=huepfenicon111.gif] [smiley=huepfenicon111.gif]wahooooooooooooooo im glade i dont see them at allllllllllllllllllllllll [smiley=icon_super.gif]

Title: Re: Can We Still Be Friends?
Post by somebody on Dec 28^th, 2005, 11:33pm

I can be friends if it we didn't break up on bad terms and if I feel this person has a lot to offer me through friendship. But if he really hurt me, I dont want to be friends. It makes it harder to move on if you guys keep talking and hanging out.

Title: Re: Can We Still Be Friends?
Post by daviefaescotland on Dec 29^th, 2005, 1:14am

on 12/27/05 at 06:23:13, Wicked_Witch wrote:

ex :'( :'( :'( :'(

Title: Re: Can We Still Be Friends?
Post by Gracia on Dec 29^th, 2005, 3:45am

I can't relate much on this issue coz i don't have ex...but i guess its okay to become friends again...in the right time maybe, when hurt and anger is gone. Or just be civil...after all....the good and not so good memories were already carved in one's mind and still, it's worth remembering especially the lessons you've learned from it It's always unforgettable.

Title: Re: Can We Still Be Friends?
Post by Wicked_Witch on Dec 29^th, 2005, 8:02am

on 12/29/05 at 01:14:52, daviefaescotland wrote:

ex :'( :'( :'( :'(

Awww, DAvie...you're not one of those ex'es and you know it. Coz you will be my ex for life :-* :-* :-*

And sistah..I don't know about you...but me? I can be civil to him maybe...but never friends. That's asking too much :P

Title: Re: Can We Still Be Friends?
Post by Justine on Jan 2^nd, 2006, 7:33am

hehe sistah....I did not establish a friendship with my ex too but I would want to find it in my heart to do so someday.

Title: Re: Can We Still Be Friends?
Post by Nathy on Jan 2^nd, 2006, 2:44pm

Hmmm..I still have good relationship with my before ex...we had our relationship for 3 years and we separated b'coz of realigion, silly huh?

But mostly I never have any comtact with all my exs before eventhough sometimes they contacted me...well, it would be ackward to see them again... ??? :-/
[smiley=wall.gif]

Title: Re: Can We Still Be Friends?
Post by okasantina on Jan 3^rd, 2006, 8:56am

I dont think he would like to still be friends to me...
though we seldom talk now, 
but i noticed that everytime i talked to him... the feeling is still there from him...
i know...
well...
i am not sure if he still wants me though but he is not saying anything eh..
so how would i know??? ::) 
I guess its my bad thoughts only that made me think that he might angry or what to me... 
He said im arrogant, but deep inside no am not! am just frank and honest  :(
but the closeness ? its not there anymore eh  :-/ 
 dunno why?  
I`ll just not mention anything...
but he knows who he is  ;) :)

Title: Re: Can We Still Be Friends?
Post by Justine on Jan 3^rd, 2006, 12:57pm

on 01/03/06 at 08:56:18, okasantina wrote:

I dont think he would like to still be friends to me...
though we seldom talk now, 
but i noticed that everytime i talked to him... the feeling is still there from him...
i know...
well...
i am not sure if he still wants me though but he is not saying anything eh..
so how would i know??? ::) 
I guess its my bad thoughts only that made me think that he might angry or what to me... 
He said im arrogant, but deep inside no am not! am just frank and honest  :(
but the closeness ? its not there anymore eh  :-/ 
 dunno why?  
I`ll just not mention anything...
but he knows who he is  ;) :)

Tins, why not ask him directly hehe such thought can be a pain sometimes

Title: Re: Can We Still Be Friends?
Post by okasantina on Jan 3^rd, 2006, 6:13pm

on 01/03/06 at 12:57:15, Justine wrote:

Tins, why not ask him directly hehe such thought can be a pain sometimes

I cant justy...i have pride ;D And im the girl u know..i cant do the first move ;) and besides its fine with me ... just only want him to know that i still do appreciate his friendship but thats only for now eh ;)

Title: Re: Can We Still Be Friends?
Post by Fallen on Jan 3^rd, 2006, 6:38pm

Dont worry Katinahhhhh we still can be good friends :) :) :)

Title: Re: Can We Still Be Friends?
Post by okasantina on Jan 3^rd, 2006, 6:47pm

on 01/03/06 at 18:38:34, Fallen wrote:

Dont worry Katinahhhhh we still can be good friends :) :) :)

yes yes yes dear Savah... now i dont need to ask u....hehehe! :P ;)