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Title: He's Just Not That Into You..... Post by Anani Kalea on Sep 20th, 2005, 7:13pm Someone shared with me an e-book yesterday, (and I will be forever thankful to her for this, really.) with the same title and I was like "This is unfair! How come this book hasn't existed before! It could've save me a lot of heartaches and wasted emotions...." So,.... for guys: Would you be kind and honest enough to share with us, your view on this? How can a woman tell that you're just not into her? DO you tell her straight out? or do you sometimes send mixed signals and tend to leave her out in the cold figuring things out herself? for girls : How can you tell if a man is "just not that into you"? What are the signs that cries out "I AM JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU!"? (I'm sure there are, but women are just too blind sometimes to take notice). DO you acknowledge the fact that a man doesn't really care, doesn't really give a damn, and move on with your life, or do you tend to hold on hoping that he'll eventually come to his senses? Please post.... |
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Title: Re: He's Just Not That Into You..... Post by thebeast on Sep 21st, 2005, 2:12am Hmmmm...well from a guys perspective I would say if he isnt looking, talking, chatting, walking, kissing, listening, or around you...chances are he is not into you. |
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Title: Re: He's Just Not That Into You..... Post by Darjeeling on Sep 21st, 2005, 2:59pm Kianna I could write my own book and tell just how he is not that into me. For starters, I know he's just not that into me when he asks for my girl friends' digits! He'd rather talk about them and appear solicitous about their well-being but he's actually NOT. He's scoping them out for the kill. LOL. Ah well. Another clue would be this: My phone remains silent. If he's the kind of guy who wants to be with me every minute of the day but can't physically, then he'd text me or call me inventing reasons why he called but we both know that he just wanted to hear my voice. And the most important clue: He's cold. No matter how you are at your wittiest, prettiest, eager to please self, he's just not interested. Shrug. At any rate, its useless beating yourself over with a stick and lamenting why he can't like/love you. So, it's time to pack up and move on. Life goes on, eh? All you've lost is just someone who doesn't love you, while HE has lost someone who loved him very much. |
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Title: Re: He's Just Not That Into You..... Post by Anani Kalea on Sep 21st, 2005, 6:01pm on 09/21/05 at 02:12:31, thebeast wrote:
Hmmm, but do you tell a woman that you're just not into her? 'Cause you see, sometimes a man does look, talk, chat, walk, kiss, listen and is around you, but then a woman soon finds out that amidst all these, he is actually still really not that into her. It's just so vague. |
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Title: Re: He's Just Not That Into You..... Post by Anani Kalea on Sep 21st, 2005, 6:14pm on 09/21/05 at 14:59:44, Darjeeling wrote:
This one's so true. Sometimes it's even pathetic because you feel like you're overdoing things already, but then all you get in return is coldness. on 09/21/05 at 14:59:44, Darjeeling wrote:
Right. That's the spirit. ;) on 09/21/05 at 14:59:44, Darjeeling wrote:
Wow, Teamay. This just blow my mind away. A very meaningful phrase. I'll put this in my 'Thoughts To Ponder' list. Thanks. :) |
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Title: Re: He's Just Not That Into You..... Post by Anani Kalea on Sep 21st, 2005, 6:35pm The following are excerpts from the e-book, taken from a man's point of view: 'When a guy is into you, he let’s you know it. He calls, he shows up, he wants to meet your friends, he can’t keep his eyes or hands off of you'... 'Men are not complicated, although we’d like you to think we are....' 'We would rather lose an arm out a city bus window than tell you simply, “You’re not the one.” We are quite sure you will kill us or yourself or both—or even worse, cry and yell at us. We are pathetic. But the fact remains, even though we may not be saying it we are absolutely showing you all the time. If a dude isn’t calling you when he says he will, or making sure you know that he’s dating you, then you already have your answer. Stop making excuses for him, his actions are screaming the truth: He’s just not that into you'.... 'Are there men who are too busy or have been through something so horrible that makes it hard for them to get involved? Yes, but there are so few of them that they should be considered urban legends. For as already suggested, a man would rather be trampled by elephants that are on fire than tell you that he’s just not that into you'.... |
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Title: Re: He's Just Not That Into You..... Post by Anani Kalea on Sep 21st, 2005, 6:40pm 'Men find it very satisfying to get what they want. If we want you, we will find you'.... 'If we’re really excited about someone, we can’t stop ourselves—we want more. If we’re friends with someone and attracted to them, we’re going to want to take it further'.... 'If a guy truly likes you, but for personal reasons he needs to take things slow, he will let you know that immediately. He won’t keep you guessing, because he’ll want to make sure you don’t get frustrated and go away'.... 'If he likes you, he’ll still remember you after the tsunami, flood, or Red Sox loss. If he doesn’t, he’s not worth your time'.... 'Men, for the most part, like to pursue women. We like not knowing if we can catch you. We feel rewarded when we do. Especially when the chase is a long one'... "When it comes to men, deal with us as we are, not how you’d like us to be.” I know it’s an infuriating concept—that men like to chase and you have to let us chase you. I know. It’s insulting. It’s frustrating. It’s unfortunately the truth. My belief is that if you have to be the aggressor, if you have to pursue, if you have to do the asking out, nine times out of ten, he’s just not that into you".... Hmm, any reactions from our guys here? For the women, how do you feel 'bout this? Are these statements true, I wonder,.... there's more but I am just soo sleepy, I can hardly open my eyes. Time for bed.... |
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Title: Re: He's Just Not That Into You..... Post by Darjeeling on Sep 22nd, 2005, 3:11am on 09/21/05 at 18:35:58, Anani Kalea wrote:
Kianna, this one hits me dead center, it takes my breath away. While I'm still gasping, I'm also made aware how these words are true. Painful, but true. It's like a douse of cold water that wakes me up to reality. |
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Title: Re: He's Just Not That Into You..... Post by Sweet and Sour on Sep 22nd, 2005, 6:21pm on 09/21/05 at 14:59:44, Darjeeling wrote:
LMAO.I think I met someone who has this practise.You met too,May ?:O LMAO. on 09/21/05 at 14:59:44, Darjeeling wrote:
Thanks for this statement.So ,he's the loser then.LMAO.Wether he admits it or not.Bweh.Hehehe. |
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Title: Re: He's Just Not That Into You..... Post by Darjeeling on Sep 24th, 2005, 7:59am on 09/22/05 at 18:21:53, Sweet and Sour wrote:
LMAO. Oh yeahhhh. ;) |
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Title: Re: He's Just Not That Into You..... Post by Tony Montana on Sep 24th, 2005, 9:12am on 09/21/05 at 18:01:15, Anani Kalea wrote:
No...It really can't be any more CRYSTAL CLEAR. First off. If a Man wants you, you will know it. If you have any doubts then it is you that has issues and either you don't want to face the facts or you cling to some longshot of ever getting your "Dream Man". You should really be listening to that little Inner Voice that says, "What the Heck am I Wasting my Time for anyway"? Now let me explain before you throw somethin' at Poor Ol' Dale. ;D Men think in 5 different Categories when it comes to Women. Cat #1. This Category is Reserved for Female Relatives. Sisters, Nieces...you get the Picture. There is nothing going on here (at least there better not be) lmao. Cat #2. This Category is Reserved for Female "Friends". And I say that vaguely because Guys don't have very many Female friends, they just have female friends they haven't slept with...YET. Guys are always trying to think up new ways to get into a gals pants and to fool around with them, and for whatever reason all the things he has tried on you just haven't worked. It is in the male Genes to act this way and no amount of Politically Correct thinking can change Thousands of years of Evolution. This brings me to the next Category. Cat #3. This Category is Reserved for Girlfriends. If a Guy wants to go out with you, YOU WILL KNOW IT. He will go out of his way for you, and do things very unguy-like. Example...Listen to you ramble on and on about shoes and how this other woman at work is out to destroy you and how you hate your big feet. He will put up with all that...just to get a shot at you. If he is currently dating you, then once he stops doing all these things...he wants out and might be staying with you for the sex..or until he can find someone else. Simple. Cat #4. This Category is Reserved for Sex Buddies. If a Guy can just get sex or fool around without doing any of the GF duties mentioned in the previous Category, then there isn't a Straight man ALIVE who would mess that up. For men, this is one of the best Categories. A man will do almost anything to get a Gal from this Category, and even more to keep her. Cat #5. This Category is Reserved for the Wife. This is the hardest Category to describe. You have to combine the Previous 2 Categories...plus a whole lot of Emotional/Physical issues. Like what your Mother looks like...and means what you might look like down the road. Like if you might make a good mother. Most/All of the "Homemaker" qualities are a Bonus, but can be eclipsed by a Gal who really makes her man happy in the Bedroom. So just to ReCap. All Women think too much when it comes to Men. Men for the most part think with their crotch. Simple. Women often just don't read the signs that Men give off to them as the actual way a Man feels. BUT...NEWS FLASH, HE ISN'T PLAYING HARD TO GET! You mentioned in your Original Post that "or do you tend to hold on hoping that he'll eventually come to his senses?" I think that He has his senses thinking, but are yours? You seem to Ignore or dismiss that he doesn't seem to show any real interest in you. Ever think that Maybe he isn't really interested in you and that you are the one that needs to come to your senses? You asked for a male Prospective, and there you go. I dunno maybe I am wrong, too far removed from your situation or rather maybe your too close to see the Forest through the Trees. But from where I sit it sure does look that way to me. |
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Title: Re: He's Just Not That Into You..... Post by Darjeeling on Sep 24th, 2005, 10:28am on 09/24/05 at 09:12:53, Tony Montana wrote:
This is what I'm waiting for. A guy's perspective. Thanks, Herr Dale. I enjoyed reading your feedback. Quote:
LMAO. Most of my male friends are either married or gay, Herr Dale. Surely, the married ones will not ruin their marriages for me and well, the gay guy situation is self-explanatory. Quote:
Aha. No wonder Madd said "no" when I asked him to go shoe-shopping with me. Madd is just not into me. :'( Quote:
;D ;D ;D I like this category. Quote:
I still like Category #4. But seriously, I know myself and I'm not the easiest person to get along with. It will take a very special kind of guy who will risk his sanity for me, let alone marry me. Quote:
Such a bitter truth to deal with, Herr Dale. But I've dealt with it and so far, I'm still alive. Quote:
OUCH. This is a good one. Everything you said here are noted, processed and pondered upon, Herr Dale. Men! Can't live with them, can't kill them either! |
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Title: Re: He's Just Not That Into You..... Post by Saffire_65 on Oct 8th, 2005, 6:10am Whoaaaaaa is there something going on here. Wonder why Dale the person whom i thought the coolest ever with his opinion suddenly turned viciously sarcastic. I'd feel that way too Kianna if the thread was moderated by me. Anyhow what he said has some truth but if only it had been delivered in a more subtle manner with no hint of sarcasm, it would not hurt any gals ego. Something to ponder on guys. Be thoughtful with how you post your comment :P. ok lets move on gals! hehehe |
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Title: Re: He's Just Not That Into You..... Post by mylane on Oct 25th, 2005, 6:24pm The guy is so into me if he started to borrow one of my bras... ;D |
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Title: Re: He's Just Not That Into You..... Post by CooCHie on Oct 25th, 2005, 6:37pm Cat #2. This Category is Reserved for Female "Friends". And I say that vaguely because Guys don't have very many Female friends, they just have female friends they haven't slept with...YET. Guys are always trying to think up new ways to get into a gals pants and to fool around with them, and for whatever reason all the things he has tried on you just haven't worked. It is in the male Genes to act this way and no amount of Politically Correct thinking can change Thousands of years of Evolution. That's why gals say this word to this point "what a sleezy bastard."(tried on anything to fool around) Cat #3. This Category is Reserved for Girlfriends. If a Guy wants to go out with you, YOU WILL KNOW IT. He will go out of his way for you, and do things very unguy-like. Example...Listen to you ramble on and on about shoes and how this other woman at work is out to destroy you and how you hate your big feet. He will put up with all that...just to get a shot at you. If he is currently dating you, then once he stops doing all these things...he wants out and might be staying with you for the sex..or until he can find someone else. Simple. Again that is why gals being a bitch on this stage because you guys are sending mix messages...then gals would say "You f**ken bastard..!!!!Can you blame us gals when we think it that way? This is the part when i guess relationship is into the boiling point..Gals thinks guys we are watching everymove they do, and asking too many questions ....that action make us bitches. The point we make on other times, we just want to know the straight answer...But guys tend to go around the bushes...and do not give reasons why they are going farther and farther away from the relationship.." You'll hear, yes you are still special in my heart." Why cant they just say straight, I am not f**ken interested in you anymore!!!How hard could that be..On the other hand, it goes with gals too. This is when guys thinks that we are playing hard to get. Cat #4. This Category is Reserved for Sex Buddies. If a Guy can just get sex or fool around without doing any of the GF duties mentioned in the previous Category, then there isn't a Straight man ALIVE who would mess that up. For men, this is one of the best Categories. A man will do almost anything to get a Gal from this Category, and even more to keep her. Again, if that is guys intention, why can they just say that in the beginning? Sex not a relationship. Why they have to get you madly inlove first then run away...lol Guess animals have to go somewhere where the grass are lots greener at this point!!!! ....Man you cant live with them, you cannot live without em.... Cat #5. This Category is Reserved for the Wife. This is the hardest Category to describe. You have to combine the Previous 2 Categories...plus a whole lot of Emotional/Physical issues. Like what your Mother looks like...and means what you might look like down the road. Like if you might make a good mother. Most/All of the "Homemaker" qualities are a Bonus, but can be eclipsed by a Gal who really makes her man happy in the Bedroom. This point is a guys doomed. This is when guys peers would say condolence!!! So just to ReCap. All Women think too much when it comes to Men. Men for the most part think with their crotch. Simple. Women often just don't read the signs that Men give off to them as the actual way a Man feels. BUT...NEWS FLASH, HE ISN'T PLAYING HARD TO GET! Again, because you guys give us mix missages to think about...You Hunt! We fish!Then let us eat the fish and be merry!!!!! You mentioned in your Original Post that "or do you tend to hold on hoping that he'll eventually come to his senses?" I think that He has his senses thinking, but are yours? You seem to Ignore or dismiss that he doesn't seem to show any real interest in you. Ever think that Maybe he isn't really interested in you and that you are the one that needs to come to your senses? Guess that is the part where gals gets confused...because of the mix messages that guys send....when gals got turn on, you cannot turn it off just like that..except give her the straight answer...the word.. I AM NOT INTO YOU. Because they read every line, every act you guys do. You asked for a male Prospective, and there you go. I dunno maybe I am wrong, too far removed from your situation or rather maybe your too close to see the Forest through the Trees. But from where I sit it sure does look that way to me. [b]This is great Dale, your point of view is greatly appreciated and we learn from it..there are some truthfulness in the guys perspective but to gals interpretation to your actions can be misinterprete in a wrong way.. some guys misunderstood gals feelings sometimes. And I guess vice versa also. If we are being straight forward to the point, we have a better understanding to each other. Guys sometimes think we got the point, but guys answer is going around the bushes. Take a short cut and tell it straight . Gals on the other hands sometimes have an obsession that the relationship still going to work out...maybe because of the mix messages u guys send...dont know I might be wrong...Just a thought!!!!!![/b] |
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Title: Re: He's Just Not That Into You..... Post by thebeast on Oct 26th, 2005, 2:57am I think women tend to make relationships more complicated than they need to be. Case in point this topic for example. The only real way to find out if he is into you or not into you is to take a shot. If he is more than likely he will be back. What Dales says does have truth to it till a point. As a man matures he tends to want things that are lasting. A relationship that has significance for example. But this is not true in all cases either. The question to figure out is if this person is right or wrong for you. Not to be perfect. Perfection is imposible for any human being. But they only to find any of this stuff out is to take a shot. Is it gonna work. Who the hell knows. If you want gaurantees you are gonna be in for a world full of hurt. Nothing in life is easy. Why would anyone expect love or relationships between males and females to be easy. Men are simple minded women are complicated and thats the way it will always be. |
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Title: Re: He's Just Not That Into You..... Post by okasantina on Oct 26th, 2005, 5:38am on 10/26/05 at 02:57:35, thebeast wrote:
I already like the first part of ure speech..but on the last part that i think i wont agree ::)....ill get back to u later... ;) |
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Title: Re: He's Just Not That Into You..... Post by okasantina on Oct 26th, 2005, 6:09am As we make assumptions like men are simpleminded and that women are emotional but not complicated...women often leads to be because of men too... and this inhibits us by forcing us to assume that someone of the opposite gender is not up to a certain task. It always tends that the women teaches the men how to comfort them...always doin sweet things for them but feeling unfair when it comes to gettin the coddling we women crave, we`re gonna crave. Men should be always sensitive in what her woman needs - wether its a foot rub or goin to bed at the same time...Men should always remember a little more likely love moves that works on you...if he approaches you at the right moment and one more thing if his family is often rude to me when i visit...lol thats it! ;D |
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Title: Re: He's Just Not That Into You..... Post by mylane on Oct 26th, 2005, 7:10am on 10/26/05 at 02:57:35, thebeast wrote:
Women are not complicated, complex yes but not complicated! |
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Title: Re: He's Just Not That Into You..... Post by thebeast on Oct 28th, 2005, 10:32pm on 10/26/05 at 07:10:59, mylane wrote:
when complicated and complex basically mean the same thing. ;D |
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Title: Re: He's Just Not That Into You..... Post by dOnUtz 9urL on Oct 29th, 2005, 2:29pm hmmm... at first l read ur post... it remind me of a guy haha.. but well l guess eventho it sounded harsh but most of them are true l guess, dale. on 09/24/05 at 09:12:53, Tony Montana wrote:
its true that if a man wants you, you will know it. but there's some man that dont want you but he dont find the gurl he chooses yet so he still ask u out etc also other gurls, in my opinion this kinda guy like to 'play' before finally he make up his mind choosing which one. lol on 09/24/05 at 09:12:53, Tony Montana wrote:
l'm agree with this one lol eventho sounds so bad, but then it was from a man point of view, so l got nufink 2 say bout it. on 09/24/05 at 09:12:53, Tony Montana wrote:
l find this one very true, if a man wants u, you dont need to make excuses for them, like if they dont call u, u will think... ah maybe he was busy at work... when he don't ask you out at weekend... you will think...ah maybe he was bringing his job home n got a deadline.... if a man really into you... he will do lotsa things to get to meet u, he will do all the effort needed, he'll try his best. on 09/24/05 at 09:12:53, Tony Montana wrote:
some gurls play hard to get... maybe thats true, but l believe beyond their way of thinking, they got reasons to do it. maybe men not playing hard to get but they did other things that women dont. So l guess all are fair, if men wanted to be understand... then vice versa, women too. |
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Title: Re: He's Just Not That Into You..... Post by Saffire_65 on Nov 2nd, 2005, 2:19pm Ok i got the message now. Thank you Beth........ :( aaaarggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hes just not into me anymoreeeeeee. I've lost my charm!! [smiley=bigcry.gif] waaaaaaaaaaaa |
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Title: Re: He's Just Not That Into You..... Post by Need4Speed8DaleJr on Nov 4th, 2005, 8:13am I just want to Clarify a few things. I was asked to post my "View Point" from a Male Prospective, just what a guy sees and feels when He comes into Contact with Women. That was just a General Category thing. Those views are just a very vague representation of the Male Psyche. THEY DO NOT RELFECT MY THOUGHTS, AND WHAT I WROTE WAS BASED PURELY ON A MALE'S PERSPECTIVE IN A GENERAL WAY, AND DO NOT REFLECT MY VIEWS. I just had to post that so that everyone knows what I posted was not what I actually think. So like I said....Don't Go Throwin' Stuff at Poor Ol' Dale Ehh. ;D On a Positive note I want to commend some of the previous posts from members. Some really great thoughts! Fair...and Balanced and everyone for the most part has made their point without getting personal. This is why I LOVE posting here. Yahhhhhh! Now KISS me You Fool Before The Waitress Gets here with Our Drinks! [smiley=grin2.gif] |
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Title: Re: He's Just Not That Into You..... Post by Wicked_Witch on Nov 7th, 2005, 1:35am on 10/28/05 at 22:32:55, thebeast wrote:
Nope...not the same. Actually women are easy to understand. But sometimes they are just being so whimsical and/or capricious that some tend to change their minds from time to time...or when the mood hits them. :P |
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