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        Romance & Relationships >> Love & Relationships >> Do you still want guys to pay for u on a date?
        
(Message started by: okasantina on Jan 6^th, 2006, 7:44pm)

Title: Do you still want guys to pay for u on a date?
Post by okasantina on Jan 6^th, 2006, 7:44pm

A man who cant shell out money shouldnt be goin out on a date in the first place eh.... Eventhough i can pay for my share, i want to see his initiative ;)

But...relationships should always give and take its unfair for men to always foot the bill eh ;D

ok vote and posttt awayyyyy!!! :)

Title: Re: Do you still want guys to pay for u on a date?
Post by thebeast on Jan 6^th, 2006, 10:02pm

It doesnt matter to me who pays but I usually like to take care of the first few myself after that if she absolutely insists that she has to pay, I have no problem with it. Hell... I am not going to argue about who gonna pay a silly bill. ;D I do not do what they call dutch either where each pays half or for what they ordered. I dont think its appropriate to do that in an establishment. Just let one person buy and then you pay him or her back later. If you ladies want to pay for your man but you have one of those kind of dates that refuses for you to pay...do what I do when my parents come down to see me...just get up after you eat before the waiter brings the bill and act like you are going to the rest room but then go find the waiter and tell him you want to take care of the bill but not at the table...that way its already taken care of and there isnt a whole lot the person can do. Plus you save a fuss over who is paying for the bill. My parents are bad about paying for everything. It makes me feel like a little kid sometimes. So I have to do that sometimes.

Title: Re: Do you still want guys to pay for u on a date?
Post by Wicked_Witch on Jan 7^th, 2006, 3:05am

I would always expect a guy to pay on a date. I'm not a material girl but one of the first thing that I look for in a date is his mannners. He doesn't have to wear a necktie if he's uncomfortable with it but sheez...I expect him to act the gentleman. Pull my chair, open doors for me, hold my elbow, those kind of things. :P

Title: Re: Do you still want guys to pay for u on a date?
Post by Justine on Jan 8^th, 2006, 3:59pm

on 01/07/06 at 03:05:09, Wicked_Witch wrote:

Hehe there are still men like that in here sistah. A man who would ask me for a date should be prepared to spend for that date. If I would make the call and ask a man for a date then that will mean I am prepared to spend too. Thing is, when you ask for a date, you are expressing interest for that person and in doing so, you would want to impress and let that person know you are capable of taking care of everything.

Title: Re: Do you still want guys to pay for u on a date?
Post by Wicked_Witch on Jan 9^th, 2006, 3:05am

on 01/08/06 at 15:59:48, Justine wrote:

Be that as it may, sistah....if it's me I would still expect him to at least offer to pay. Afterall, it's a date so when he says yes to my invitation, he should at least be ready to pay. It's a date afterall. ;DI will always feel bad if I have to pay for anything on a date [smiley=silly.gif]Unless it's a male friend that I bothered so I can have a shoulder to cry on? ;D

Title: Re: Do you still want guys to pay for u on a date?
Post by astrobloke on Jan 9^th, 2006, 5:57am

Wow this is a political minefield for guys.

In my country, many ladies will refuse to allow the guy to pay for everything in thinking that they dont want to feel indebted in any way to the guy. Some are even affronted by the suggestion. Damn womens libbers ::)
On the other hand, some have a more conservative viewpoint and are happy to accept chivalry.

From my perspective, once it gets to the 3rd,4th date, I would expect the lady to offer to share costs , or treat me even, if she had a job and the means to do so. If the lady has an income similar to mine, is it fair for me to pay everything always ?

Maybe Im going to alienate some ladies here in speaking from my own cultural viewpoint, but I tell things as I see them and wont BS to impress anybody ;)

Title: Re: Do you still want guys to pay for u on a date?
Post by Justine on Jan 10^th, 2006, 5:42am

on 01/09/06 at 05:57:14, astrobloke wrote:

If the lady has an income similar to mine, is it fair for me to pay everything always ?

Maybe Im going to alienate some ladies here in speaking from my own cultural viewpoint, but I tell things as I see them and wont BS to impress anybody ;)

If you're trying to win the lady's heart, it shouldn't matter.

We all get to learn things from interactions like this, Astro so it is always best to say what you really think minus that BS ;D

Title: Re: Do you still want guys to pay for u on a date?
Post by okasantina on Jan 10^th, 2006, 6:13am

I do still believe in old fashion-courtship rituals, especially on first dates...BUT i have this generosity thang attitude in me..wherein i need to cash out in dates especially when he becomes my bf you know...to see that were not just after their money ;) ;D

Title: Re: Do you still want guys to pay for u on a date?
Post by nOrKAy on Jan 10^th, 2006, 7:01am

Ofcourse, I want, but it doesn't mean he has to pay all the time we date or give him as a responsibility to handle all the expenses. I would appreciate if I know the man has money and willingly take incharge of the expenses. Unfortunately, not all men are capable and if a woman think a man should ALWAYS be responsible for the date expenses then it would be too heavy for the man to take, and that, you wouldn't be dated often which possibly cause disappoinments or negative thoughts , like, "he's not that into me or not really interested".

As a woman, I don't really mind much who is going to pay the expenses. Well, on the first date, I think a man should take it as a prerogative for him to handle the first date's expenses. But on next dates, I won't allow him to always take all the expenses, I think I should share,too-- especially if I like him, enjoy his company-- that even makes me think he deserves an invitation from me sometimes.

Title: Re: Do you still want guys to pay for u on a date?
Post by Wicked_Witch on Jan 10^th, 2006, 7:01am

I guess if you both have been in the relationship for a long time and are both comfortable with each other already then i guess acting like husband and wife will not matter anymore. You know...like the wife picking the tabs? But on a date with someone you are not related with? That's a no-no-no-no for me!

Title: Re: Do you still want guys to pay for u on a date?
Post by okasantina on Jan 14^th, 2006, 8:36pm

Well there are some guys who really dont mind at all...its like "patay-malisya" ...dont know that in english duh...and that i hated most lol.

Title: Re: Do you still want guys to pay for u on a date?
Post by Wicked_Witch on Jan 16^th, 2006, 10:03am

Huh, Tinz...someone who "pretends" (patay-malisya) he doesn't see the waiter coming with the tabs? Or pretends he has to go to the men's room at an appropriate time? Or when the waiter is there at your table he doesn't move to take out his wallet? Well then, leave and tell the waiter your companion is paying! Sheez...! some manners! ::)