1freeworld Groups
        (http://www.1freeworld.net/cgi-bin/Yabb/YaBB.cgi)
      

        Romance & Relationships >> Love & Relationships >> Would u give physically abusive bf a second chance
        
(Message started by: okasantina on Jan 9th, 2006, 6:30am)
Title: Would u give physically abusive bf a second chance
Post by okasantina on Jan 9th, 2006, 6:30am
If your heart isn`t the only part of you thats broken, can you mend it?  

He raises a fist, tugs your arm and the worst part of it...is that you still love him anyway.  Should u stay or should u go?  Does a mean man deserve another chance?  

Ok get out of the damsel`s shoes to know if the distress is enough to dismiss a second chance.


Happy postinggg ;D ;)
Title: Re: Would u give physically abusive bf a second ch
Post by earthlingorgeous on Jan 9th, 2006, 1:01pm
I won't give him a damn chance never never never

Once he hit me... there's a chance for him to do that again and again and again ...

Hitting someone and tell them you love them duh whats that...

once a man hit me that means he doesn't love and he doesn't respect me as a person anymore i wont stick with a guy with no respect for me
Title: Re: Would u give physically abusive bf a second ch
Post by Justine on Jan 10th, 2006, 5:26am
I will have to agree with Earthy.  I have been and can be very patient with a lot of things but physical abuse is serious and definitely unacceptable.
Title: Re: Would u give physically abusive bf a second ch
Post by okasantina on Jan 10th, 2006, 6:25am
Even i flare up and get physical when I`m emotional. If i claim to be his equal, I should accept that he also has the same tendencies.  I`d forgive him for his physical outburst and set standards for future arguments as well...sometimes women provokes thats why they are bumped by men u know...and it all matters about outweighing the good things in the relationship from the bad things. I wouldnt want to throw everything we have just like that. As long as he knows that a second chance doesnt mean he can hurt me again....and why not we can get "out of control" in the heart of the moment right?  we are just humans and sometimes we do make mistakes. Just set an ultimatum to ureself..it doesnt necessarily mean that he doesnt love u or what....He`ll gonna soon realize it in the end. Dont get dumb! fight back  ;D so he will know who he is dealing with ... lol :) ;)
Title: Re: Would u give physically abusive bf a second ch
Post by nOrKAy on Jan 10th, 2006, 6:28am


I would never give a hand a chance to land on me for a second time. I am not even sure if I would give a second chance to see an abusive man again after leaving or sending out from my life.

He could do it when he's still my boyfriend, how much more when I'd be his property?
Title: Re: Would u give physically abusive bf a second ch
Post by Wicked_Witch on Jan 10th, 2006, 7:10am
I don't easily get mad. And I always accept it if I am in the wrong. But if someone hit me without any valid reason at all, that's a different story. Coz I am someone who carries grudges for a long time. That only happens if i'm not able to get even. He better be a light sleeper after hitting me or .......... ;D
Title: Re: Would u give physically abusive bf a second ch
Post by okasantina on Jan 10th, 2006, 7:17am

on 01/09/06 at 13:01:09, earthlingorgeous wrote:
I won't give him a damn chance never never never

Once he hit me... there's a chance for him to do that again and again and again ...

Hitting someone and tell them you love them duh whats that...

once a man hit me that means he doesn't love and he doesn't respect me as a person anymore i wont stick with a guy with no respect for me



U have ure point there earthling dear...i guess u just dont like to be battered again huh... lol
Title: Re: Would u give physically abusive bf a second ch
Post by okasantina on Jan 10th, 2006, 7:18am

on 01/10/06 at 05:26:05, Justine wrote:
I will have to agree with Earthy.  I have been and can be very patient with a lot of things but physical abuse is serious and definitely unacceptable.


It goes like "Once is enough, Twice is too much" ;D
Title: Re: Would u give physically abusive bf a second ch
Post by okasantina on Jan 10th, 2006, 7:24am

on 01/10/06 at 06:28:20, nOrKAy wrote:
I would never give a hand a chance to land on me for a second time. I am not even sure if I would give a second chance to see an abusive man again after leaving or sending out from my life.

He could do it when he's still my boyfriend, how much more when I'd be his property?


Its like an abusive boyfriend will be an abusive husband eh.. ::) ;D
Title: Re: Would u give physically abusive bf a second ch
Post by earthlingorgeous on Jan 10th, 2006, 7:26am
I just don't have the patience for physically abusive person....I can't accept that. NEVER!
Title: Re: Would u give physically abusive bf a second ch
Post by Justine on Jan 10th, 2006, 7:31am

on 01/10/06 at 07:10:09, Wicked_Witch wrote:
I don't easily get mad. And I always accept it if I am in the wrong. But if someone hit me without any valid reason at all, that's a different story. Coz I am someone who carries grudges for a long time. That only happens if i'm not able to get even. He better be a light sleeper after hitting me or .......... ;D


.....or a spell is casted  ;D

Well it says "physically abusive bf". Hitting once is entirely different. But then again, it's a valid reason for me to stay away.
Title: Re: Would u give physically abusive bf a second ch
Post by okasantina on Jan 10th, 2006, 7:35am

on 01/10/06 at 07:26:55, earthlingorgeous wrote:
I just don't have the patience for physically abusive person....I can't accept that. NEVER!


I know earthling dear took a lot to become beautiful and confident and in one hit of a fist... all will be lost so  to take him back would mean sacrilege  ;D
Title: Re: Would u give physically abusive bf a second ch
Post by nOrKAy on Jan 10th, 2006, 10:54am

on 01/10/06 at 07:24:20, okasantina wrote:
Its like an abusive boyfriend will be an abusive husband eh.. ::) ;D


Big possibility.
Title: Re: Would u give physically abusive bf a second ch
Post by Wicked_Witch on Jan 11th, 2006, 8:38am

on 01/10/06 at 07:24:20, okasantina wrote:
Its like an abusive boyfriend will be an abusive husband eh.. ::) ;D


He won't live long enough to become a husband if I have anything to do about it!
[smiley=roll.gif] [smiley=roll.gif] [smiley=roll.gif]
Title: Re: Would u give physically abusive bf a second ch
Post by okasantina on Jan 11th, 2006, 9:14am

on 01/11/06 at 08:38:52, Wicked_Witch wrote:
He won't live long enough to become a husband if I have anything to do about it!
[smiley=roll.gif] [smiley=roll.gif] [smiley=roll.gif]


Lmao! and bring him to hospital afterwards....poor babyy! ;D ;D [smiley=crazysmile.gif] [smiley=crazysmile.gif] [smiley=crazysmile.gif]
Title: Re: Would u give physically abusive bf a second ch
Post by nOrKAy on Jan 11th, 2006, 10:10am

on 01/11/06 at 09:14:33, okasantina wrote:
Lmao! and bring him to hospital afterwards....poor babyy! ;D ;D [smiley=crazysmile.gif] [smiley=crazysmile.gif] [smiley=crazysmile.gif]


Why still waste money? Kill him instantly!  ;)
Title: Re: Would u give physically abusive bf a second ch
Post by Wicked_Witch on Jan 11th, 2006, 3:01pm
What a bloodthirsty group you are, ladies!! [smiley=roll.gif] [smiley=roll.gif] [smiley=roll.gif]
Title: Re: Would u give physically abusive bf a second ch
Post by CooCHie on Jan 11th, 2006, 5:06pm
;D ;DEmotinally unstable people normally are the ones who have some problems with giving their bf a second chance.  Couple of times an abusive person perceive the abuser's action as a means of how much he loves her.  If for any reasons, a woman who is giving another chance to that bf of hers, she is as sick as the abuser herself.  If it comes to that point, she better seek helps.  I was thought, that a guy never hits a lady or he is not a gentleman at all. I call it a sissy boy. ;D
Title: Re: Would u give physically abusive bf a second ch
Post by okasantina on Jan 11th, 2006, 6:02pm
Well each love couple is always responsible for their own personal upbringing. When the relationship has a problem like this , it's not just HIM who needs to change your own personal reluctance and to change your own behavior by leaving a physically abusive relationships that keeps you stuck along with him and the relationship.   Its not being sick but the way on how u can handle ureself ... and minding your OWNSELF to take care of yourself.  ;)

You need to ask yourself!  Are you happy? Sad? Disappointed in where you are in the relationship you have with yourself? Angry? Resentful? Loving some or most of the time but not all of the time? Do you like you? When you are alone do you feel lonely? Are you always blaming others for what happens to you? Do you know that something is missing in your life and you are not quite sure what it is? Are you always looking back? Do you know what it feels like to live in the present; to really be present to what is going on? Have you lost sight of what you really would like to have in the area of relationships? Do you know specifically what YOU need from a relationship? Have you really ever thought seriously about that? Are you feeling sorry for yourself? Upset because of the kind of people you attract into your life? Have you reached a point where it is pointless to complain because you now know that relationships are what you make of them? Do you know down deep inside that there must be something better?


It causes you to begin to understand that no matter how hopeless or great things look, they can always be better. You have a choice in how your life turns out!

Always listen to your heart. It always tells the truth.  :) :) :)
Title: Re: Would u give physically abusive bf a second ch
Post by CooCHie on Jan 11th, 2006, 9:54pm

on 01/11/06 at 18:02:58, okasantina wrote:
Well each love couple is always responsible for their own personal upbringing. When the relationship has a problem like this , it's not just HIM who needs to change your own personal reluctance and to change your own behavior by leaving a physically abusive relationships that keeps you stuck along with him and the relationship.   Its not being sick but the way on how u can handle ureself ... and minding your OWNSELF to take care of yourself.  ;)

You need to ask yourself!  Are you happy? Sad? Disappointed in where you are in the relationship you have with yourself? Angry? Resentful? Loving some or most of the time but not all of the time? Do you like you? When you are alone do you feel lonely? Are you always blaming others for what happens to you? Do you know that something is missing in your life and you are not quite sure what it is? Are you always looking back? Do you know what it feels like to live in the present; to really be present to what is going on? Have you lost sight of what you really would like to have in the area of relationships? Do you know specifically what YOU need from a relationship? Have you really ever thought seriously about that? Are you feeling sorry for yourself? Upset because of the kind of people you attract into your life? Have you reached a point where it is pointless to complain because you now know that relationships are what you make of them? Do you know down deep inside that there must be something better?


It causes you to begin to understand that no matter how hopeless or great things look, they can always be better. You have a choice in how your life turns out!

Always listen to your heart. It always tells the truth.  :) :) :)





well what i meant by sick is when you are emotionally unstable, I consider that being sick.  A normal person wont   hurt any human beings repeatedly.  I have seen  and heard so many abussive relationship that at the end the other person ends up being dead.   There emotional well being is unstable and uncontrollable.  This is sick to me.  Their behavoir is intolerable if they repeatedly abusing someone.  And for the abusee, bec of the repeated action that she is been getting and vice versa this applies to  male being abused  also, they end up being sick as well because they keep tolerating to be abuse. And that emotional imbalance needs to be corrected and redirected to the right direction.  This is what I call being sick.  Choices is another thing.  You cannot say you made  a great choice if you are letting yourself being abused to be in that situation no matter what you think and your reasons are.  Your choice to be in that situation cannot be consider  a stable person's choice.  It is more to me an abusive choice that he/she himself/herself cannot see but others can.  It can never be  happy environment to be in.
That is why, there are some places where abusiver and and victims get treatment of their unmanageable .behaviors.
Title: Re: Would u give physically abusive bf a second ch
Post by Justine on Jan 13th, 2006, 1:13am
In many cases, people suffer from abuse because they allow it.

Less people will be abused if more people will stop tolerating abuse.
Title: Re: Would u give physically abusive bf a second ch
Post by Aftr_it on Jan 13th, 2006, 2:47pm
nope I certainly wouldnt have an abusive bf  ??? ;Dbut in reality I wouldnt have a boyfriend at all ;D How ever if some nice woman has a dungeon and wants to handcuff me naked to a pole while she  gyrated around me ..............................well yeah
Title: Re: Would u give physically abusive bf a second ch
Post by okasantina on Jan 14th, 2006, 8:32pm

on 01/13/06 at 14:47:36, Aftr_it wrote:
nope I certainly wouldnt have an abusive bf  ??? ;Dbut in reality I wouldnt have a boyfriend at all ;D How ever if some nice woman has a dungeon and wants to handcuff me naked to a pole while she  gyrated around me ..............................well yeah



[smiley=roll.gif] [smiley=roll.gif] [smiley=roll.gif]ok get in gream!!!jk ;D
Title: Re: Would u give physically abusive bf a second ch
Post by Justine on Jan 15th, 2006, 1:00am
Seems more like pleasure to you than abuse, Graeme hehehe
Title: Re: Would u give physically abusive bf a second ch
Post by Aftr_it on Jan 15th, 2006, 8:19am
:o Pleasure geeeeeee I dunno  I may smile when it was all over ;D
Title: Re: Would u give physically abusive bf a second ch
Post by Aftr_it on Jan 15th, 2006, 8:20am
 ok get in gream!!!jk  


OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH  YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH
Title: Re: Would u give physically abusive bf a second ch
Post by Wicked_Witch on Jan 16th, 2006, 9:07am
sheez, Graeme, that's one physical abuse a man would endure with a smiling face, eh? [smiley=roll.gif] [smiley=roll.gif] [smiley=roll.gif]and for life, even!
Title: Re: Would u give physically abusive bf a second ch
Post by Aftr_it on Jan 16th, 2006, 10:00am
:P Edith I would travel to the ends of the world.................................Well Sydney anyway
Title: Re: Would u give physically abusive bf a second ch
Post by Wicked_Witch on Jan 17th, 2006, 4:35am

on 01/16/06 at 10:00:25, Aftr_it wrote:
:P Edith I would travel to the ends of the world.................................Well Sydney anyway


Ok, come to momma and let me abuse you! :-*
Title: Re: Would u give physically abusive bf a second ch
Post by Gracia on Jan 17th, 2006, 8:44am
In my case, I don't nag when my husband is under the influence of liquor.....that's an invitation of fist to hit my face....however, i'm quite supportive in preparing the necessary cleaning apparatus in case he'll vomit or spit somewhere....that will be a good punishment for him and he can't get any help from me.  I'm not likely to receive a punch at all knowing that when he's on fire, i'll back off,  or when ...let's say in difficult situation or say not feeling well coz he's drank ...i'm not going to add the burden....i'll wait things to subside and have my homily after.  As much as possible, i don't want my children to witness any real fight from us.  

I've heard most women hit by husbands were naggers.  I can't blame the wife for nagging though, but then lets face the truth, nagging to a drank husband is useless.
Title: Re: Would u give physically abusive bf a second ch
Post by okasantina on Jan 23rd, 2006, 8:27am

on 01/17/06 at 08:44:43, Gracia wrote:
I've heard most women hit by husbands were naggers.  I can't blame the wife for nagging though, but then lets face the truth, nagging to a drank husband is useless.


exactly right Gracie dear...I nag after he has no hungover   ;D lmao
Title: Re: Would u give physically abusive bf a second ch
Post by okasantina on Jan 25th, 2006, 6:18am
It shows that ....

92% OF COURSE NOT!  (That`s an attack against me and everything i believe in  ;))

and 8 % YES!...(He probably didnt mean to hit me that time .... ;D)
Title: Re: Would u give physically abusive bf a second ch
Post by Aftr_it on Jan 25th, 2006, 10:26am

on 01/23/06 at 08:27:35, okasantina wrote:
exactly right Gracie dear...I nag after he has no hungover   ;D lmao



when did ya nag me and when wasnt I hungover [smiley=icon_drink.gif]
Title: Re: Would u give physically abusive bf a second ch
Post by CapuchinO on Feb 11th, 2006, 5:33pm
yes and NO!!!

YES..... if i still love him

NO... cos i will never love him anymore >:(
Title: Re: Would u give physically abusive bf a second ch
Post by Justine on Feb 12th, 2006, 4:32am
Again, what it says here is "physically abusive".  Just the word abusive is scary in itself.  Hitting once or twice or even thrice may, for valid reasons, be excused but habitually hitting to the point of being abusive is not acceptable.
Title: Re: Would u give physically abusive bf a second ch
Post by mixin4livin on Feb 12th, 2006, 4:52am
Yes He deserves a second chance, Atleast another chance to have sex lmao ;D
Title: Re: Would u give physically abusive bf a second ch
Post by Wicked_Witch on Feb 15th, 2006, 3:58am
Yeah, I'm ready to give him another chance. If he escaped the first time, that is. So I can plot his early demise again! [smiley=thinking2.gif]
Title: Re: Would u give physically abusive bf a second ch
Post by lou_la_lou on Aug 20th, 2006, 1:07am
i think one who is abusive shouldent get a second chance.. cus once it happens it will never stop . and it isnt just hitting or kicking it is verble as well.. but i have seen many who take the abusive one back  ..even if you love her or him  no one deserves to be treated like that .. when they say better or worst i am sure this isnt whut they mean .so think long and hard about whut some of you are saying cus it wont get any better  :(
Title: Re: Would u give physically abusive bf a second ch
Post by lou_la_lou on Aug 20th, 2006, 1:26am
wow you no that pisses me off when they go back to the one who abusives them ... i mean do you like being hit or you look foreward to going home and being abused or is it you are affraid of being alone? ::)
Title: Re: Would u give physically abusive bf a second ch
Post by CooCHie on Aug 20th, 2006, 8:09pm

on 08/20/06 at 01:26:27, lou_la_lou wrote:
wow you no that pisses me off when they go back to the one who abusives them ... i mean do you like being hit or you look foreward to going home and being abused or is it you are affraid of being alone? ::)


Hmmm lou la lou...that keeps me thinking bend ovah let me abuse ya!!!!

I guess when some people have been abused in their life, they loose their self value.  They tend to  get used to that abusive environment that they have.  The only way to get them out, is to wake their senses out!!!That is the reason why too many history of why man.woman being abused because they cannot see the truth of why they are  being abused.  They can only see the perspective of the abuser.
Title: Re: Would u give physically abusive bf a second ch
Post by Wicked_Witch on Aug 21st, 2006, 11:43am
There are those who hates the thought of being alone if they leave the abusive bf. These women are used to depending on the bf that they are willing to accept whatever is done to them as long as the bf still takes care of them. It's a sad  state of a relationship but some women are so weak they can't stand up on their own. They have no more self respect and only worry about survival. More if they already have kids. These women has low self-esteem and someone must have convinced them they are worthless.
Title: Re: Would u give physically abusive bf a second ch
Post by thebeast on Aug 21st, 2006, 5:44pm
I would never hit a woman...even if she deserved it. Yes... some women deserve to be slapped just like some guys deserve it as well. But just because she or even he deserves it doesnt mean you should do it.  You got to get yourself away from that person. The sooner you get away the better off you will be. If I were a woman and a dude hit me? I wouldnt give him a 2nd chance. What is funny is I have been slapped, had beer bottles thrown at me, had my personal property destroyed and even been sent to jail for no reason whatsoever and I gave those basket cases called women 2nd chances.  Sometimes I deserved it, other times I didnt....but I never looked at it as physical abuse...I thought it was kinda funny...except for the jail experience. I think it makes woman more angry when she slaps you and then you laugh. I dont think women should do that with a man who is being abusive to her though. I think a woman is not thinking very clearly when she hits or slaps a man. Now thats a question there if a woman abuses the man does she deserve to be abused after???? I wouldnt do it...but the thought did cross my mind...You just take a deep breath in and get away as quickly as possible. You should get your ass as far away from each other as possible. Because in the man's case, he is screwed either way. If he hits her...she calls the police and he goes to jail...and if he doesnt hit her and he just hangs around...she can still call the police and send your ass to jail...that is the mistake I made...I hung around and even let her call the police because I thought they could calm her down...police arrived and took my ass to jail.
Title: Re: Would u give physically abusive bf a second ch
Post by Wicked_Witch on Aug 22nd, 2006, 1:16pm
Duh!, Joel. By your statements I'm beginning to doubt justice in America. Why would a cop put your ass to jail for no reason at all but just "false" accusations and words of a hysterical woman? Unless she's sporting a blackeye  when the cops got there? Here, when a couple fights the neighbors call in the cops not cause they worried that they may hurt each other but more because the couple is disturbing the peace and quiet of the neighborhood and they are worried that they may get hit by a stray bullet or flying whatever ;D
Title: Re: Would u give physically abusive bf a second ch
Post by thebeast on Aug 22nd, 2006, 8:00pm

on 08/22/06 at 13:16:17, Wicked_Witch wrote:
Duh!, Joel. By your statements I'm beginning to doubt justice in America. Why would a cop put your ass to jail for no reason at all but just "false" accusations and words of a hysterical woman? Unless she's sporting a blackeye  when the cops got there? Here, when a couple fights the neighbors call in the cops not cause they worried that they may hurt each other but more because the couple is disturbing the peace and quiet of the neighborhood and they are worried that they may get hit by a stray bullet or flying whatever ;D


Edith...the fact that I was arrested and my ass was taken to jail has nothing to do with the justice system in the United States.  My day of justice happened about a year later when I went to court and the arresting officers and the xgf of mine were all there. My xgf got on the stand and admitted she overreacted and that  I did no wrong and her act was an act of vengence against me. And the officers were reprimanded for thier actions and I was declared innocent of any wrong doing and the misdemeanor was stricken off my record. The justice system works very well in the United States...but then again....this should of never even went this far. It was a frivolous  action that wasted not only my time but the courts time and cost the judicial system and taxpayers a lot of money. Ever since the OJ Simpson episode...the District Attorney's office in most counties of the United States has a no tolerance protocol for abuse against women. This means the D.A.'s office communicates with the police to arrest any male that is involved in this kind of situation or similar situation and then they will prosecute them...regaurdless of the truth. They figure to work the truth out in court. In my situation it was wrong to do that to me...because I was innocent of any wrong doing. But like with any system their are pros and cons. The system is set up to protect women and children being abused. Even though I was wrongly arrested and I think the whole system is a waste of time and money...that only applies to my situation. I believe the system does catch the bad guy but some of the good guys get involved in the process along the way as well. The truth still comes out in the end. It cant be perfect but it does work. I was also younger then...if I am ever in a situation like that again, I will follow my advice and just leave and let things settle down. Also the woman I am talking about didnt even have one scratch on her when the police arrived. Edith its the pressure the DA's office puts on the police that causes this to happen. And like I said the DAs office has a no tolerance policy for most of these situations. And yes...you can be arrested for something you didnt do. It happens...maybe not a lot but it does happen.
Title: Re: Would u give physically abusive bf a second ch
Post by Wicked_Witch on Aug 29th, 2006, 11:29am
I don't know..but here the cops won't act against anyone unless there's a weapon around or one of the couple is badly bruised or something. But if it's just something like domestic quarrel, the cops would just advice the couple to cool it down and if they won't stop the cop will put the noisy one in jail to sleep it off.


1freeworld Groups » Powered by YaBB 1 Gold - SP 1.3.2!
YaBB © 2000-2003. All Rights Reserved.