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Title: Marriage Post by Kitch on Jul 25th, 2006, 6:52am Marriage Main Entry: mar•riage Pronunciation: 'mar-ij Function: noun 1 : the state of being united to a person of the opposite sex as husband or wife in a legal, consensual, and contractual relationship recognized and sanctioned by and dissolvable only by law —see also DIVORCE 2 : the ceremony containing certain legal formalities by which a marriage relationship is created (www.dictionary.com) Biblical Marriage is a little more complex but lets start with the words of the first man to be married which is Adam and the words of Jesus on Marriage. Genesis 2:23-24 (ESV) 23) Then the man said, “This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called woman, because she was taken out of man 24) Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. Matthew 19: 3-8(ESV) 3) And Pharisees came up to him and tested him by asking,”Is it lawful to divorce one’s wife for any cause. 4) He answered, “Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female, 5) and said, Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh? 6) So they are no longer two but one flesh, What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate. 7) They said to him, “Why then did Moses command one to give a certificate of divorce and to send her away? 8) He said to them, “Because of your hardness of heart Moses allowed you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so. Marriage was created by God and the very first institution and when you marry you become one flesh. So marriage is an important decision and when considering marry we must ask ourselves should we marry? A lot of people will quote Genesis 2:18 saying we should marry. (2:18 Then the Lord said, it is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.”) I believe this is more directed specifically toward Adam, for if he were alone he would been the only member of the human race. So lets go to other writing on marriage. 1st Corinthians 7: 1-2, 8-9 1) Now concerning the matters about which you wrote: “It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman” 2) But because of the temptation to sexual immorality each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband. 8) To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is good for them to remain single as I am. 9) But if they cannot exercise self-control, they should marry. For it is better to marry than to be aflamed with passion. Matthew 19: 9-12 9) And I say to you : whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery. 10) The disciples said to him, “If such is the case of a man with his wife, it is better not marry.” 11) But he said to them, “ Not everyone cans receive this saying, but only those to whom it has been giving. 12) For there are eunuchs who have been so from birth, and there are eunuchs who have been made eunuchs by man, and there are eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. Let the one who is able to receive this receive it. Christ and the Apostle Paul both point out that the single life is good, to focus on God, but they also point out if you feel sexual temptation is to much then to marry but marry just to one. It is an important decision, I have heard of a pastor that said everytime a couple comes to him to ask to wed them he always tries to talk them out of it. At first I admit I thought wow that isn’t very kind but the more I thought about it I have come to the decision he is doing the right thing. With how important it is on who you marry, in the eyes of God. If you can be talked out of getting married then your not committed enough to be married. So you either marry one for life or remain celebate. ……To Be Continued |
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Title: Re: Marriage Post by Kitch on Jul 26th, 2006, 9:57am part 2 Men responsibilities in marriage: I am going to start with the man’s responsibility, for a couple of reasons first the most obvious I am male, the male has the most responsibilities. Genesis 3:16 16) To the woman he said, “I will surely multiply your pain in child bearing; in pain you shall bring forth children. Your desire shall be for your husband, and he shall rule over you.” Ephesians: 5:23 23) For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of church, his body, and is himself its savior. 24) Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. 25) Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, 28) In the same way husbands love should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29) For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church. 33) However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband. We see from this that the husband is the head of the marriage in every aspect however we also can see that he is not to be a tyrant but to serve his wife. Just like any team there is a leader and the job belongs to the husband, however being the leader he is called to serve his wife and not be her dictator. Paul uses the example of Christ dying for the church. Also remembered that Jesus even washed the feet of the disciples, and in the Jewish culture at that time that was the job of the lowest of houses slaves. You are commanded to love your wife, and since you are commanded to love your wife you can’t use the excuse I just don’t love her any more. God doesn’t command you to do something that you can’t do. So husbands find the best way to communicate your love to your wife in a way that she understands love. I read a survey done a few years ago on human behavior, that if you do something even if you don’t enjoy doing after a time you begin to enjoy it because your investing your energy to the action. You’re to treats the wife’s body as if it were yours so that means no abusing it. To be Continued |
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Title: Re: Marriage Post by okasantina on Jul 26th, 2006, 6:46pm cant wait for the next issue Kitchy ;) |
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Title: Re: Marriage Post by Kitch on Jul 29th, 2006, 8:15am :( sorry for the delay people my computer got fried during an electrical storm so I have to go back and remember where I left off and start from there |
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Title: Re: Marriage Post by Kitch on Aug 1st, 2006, 6:33am Wives: From the previous versus Ladies we know that the husband is the head of the house hold and unfortunately a lot of men don't want to take the job even though they want the power so you may have to encourage your husband. Notice that as the husband is commanded to love his wife the wife is command to respect her husband, (sure that sometimes it is easier said then done). Lot of people live under the misconsception respected is earned. Respect is not earned it is giving and in marriage a wife should remember to give her husband respect. Even if he refuses to ask for directions or blows up the kitchen. As I stated to the husband about love your wife, the Lord doesn't command you to do something that is impossible so remember to respect your husband. A lot of men will say a womans job is at home with the kids, well lets talk about the wive's responsibility Proverbs 31 10) An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels. 11) The heart of her husband trust in her, and he will have no lack of gain. 12) She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life. 13) She seeks wool and flax, and works with willing hands. 14) She like the ships of the merchant; she brings her food from afar. 15) She rises while it is yet night and provides food for her household and portions for her maidens. 16) She considers a field and buys it; with the fruit of her hands she plants a vineyard. 17) She dresses herself with strength and makers her arms strong. 18) She percieves thta her merchandise is profitable. Her lamp does not go out at night. 19) She puts her hands to distaff, and hands hold the spindle. 20) She opens her hand to the poor and reaches out her hands to the needy. 21) She is not afraid of snow for her household. for all her household are clothed in scarlet.(fine clothes) 22) She makes her bed coverings for herself; her clothing is fine linen and purple. (Purple clothes at this time would be expensive) 23) Her husband is known in the gates whe he sits among the elders of the land. 24) She makes linen garments and sells them; she delivers sashes to the merchant. 25) Strentgh and dignity are her clothing and she laughs at the times to come. 26) She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue. 27) She looks well to the ways of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. 28) Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also and he praises her. 29) "Many women have done excellently, but you surpass them all."(high praise of husband) 30) Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. (doesn't matter how sweet her words or how good she looks what matter is where is her heart) 31) Give her of the fruti of her hands, and let her wors praise her in the gates. Well as you can see from this woman, She makes financial decissions she is wise caring giving she provides for her family. ***side note husbands if your leading and your wife is suppected to do all this how much more must you do? For the best way to lead is to lead by example. This woman goes through great lengths to provide for the needs of her husband and family and since the husband leads the wive by serving her he must do as much*** There is a Christian ministry in the United states they have this event it is called weekend to remember. What they do is have a retreat for married couples go to strengthing thier marriages directing the to live thier marriage according to the bible. The program does sound to have the annointment of God because it has been credited of saving marriages from testimonies that I have heard. They also have a radio program where they go over some of the stuff and other stuff to promote the family. One thing they always stress is the importance of husbands loving your wife and wives respecting your husband. The trick is to find out what communicates love to your wife and what communicates respect to your husband. Like if cooking a candle light dinner husbands communicates love to her get up every now and then cook her dinner. Ladies if your husband ask you go to a boring place like a home improvement store go ( That is romance for a guy). Even if you don't feel like doing it, studies show if you do things you don't feel like doing it in time changes your heart so you feel like doing it. You may not feel like showing love but if you do things to show your love after time you will feel that. More to come on Marriage ;) |
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Title: Re: Marriage Post by Kitch on Aug 11th, 2006, 7:16am ( Sorry about the delays in continuing post in the forum on this topic I had much more layed out and lost it all when my computer got fried....Trying to catch up back to where I were and reorganize my thoughts) I had 7 more post ready for this topics!!!! However lets go over things so, it is good to stay single and never marry. Even preferred by Paul. Even so sex is a constant temptation and if you can't hold back your sexual desire you should Marry. Marriage is good as well. Husband and wife are one flesh making them working for each other for mutual goals. The husband is the head of the wife however but to be servant leader to his wife. Husbands love your wives well even though it really doesn't go much into details on that in that area. Yet I doubt saying I love you is enough. We need to find ways to show our love to our wives in a way they understand. My birth Grand parents had an arranged wedding, they see each other prior to thier wedding. The advice my Grandfather gave me about a relationship was this find the things that show love to your wife, always greet her with an embrace, and listen to the matters of your heart. If you don't know how to answer a concern of her heart don't sometimes she just needs you to listen. They were Married 60 years so thier is wisdom in his words. We also know that the woman is to be many things in a marriage she is a merchant she handles money she builds up her husband and children. The bible commands you to respect your husband. One of the largest misconceptions is on Love and respect neither are earn but given. A man finds it hard to show love if he doesn't feel respected, and a woman won't show respect if she doesn't feel loved creating a vicious cycle. My adopted family I got another set of GRand parents that were married 50 years. I remember watching how the react together my Grand mother definetly displayed a lot of respect to her husband and I remember seeing my grand father holding my grand mothers hand listening to her, not saying a word just hanging on her every word to things that seem quite mundaine to me. Even though I have not been blessed to find the woman I am to marry yet, I have had some wonderful role models on marriage and some terrible role models. My birth parents had the 50/50 theory I do my share and you do your share well one didn't do thier share the other didn't do thier share, where I seen adopted parents and Grandparents saying you give 100% al the time no matter what the other does. If you do the 50/50 thing you will always feel you are doing more. I can see that because I know in myself I can really spot out the flaws in others even flaws that I may have. I am sure my grand parents had hard times in thier marriages but I still see the two 70 year old people chasing each other around like newly weds. So we must chose wisely, when we choose to marry and once were married we must keep from divorce. |
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Title: Re: Marriage Post by okasantina on Aug 11th, 2006, 8:56am Thats true Kitchy ... many times there seems to be not enough hours in the day to communicate feelings - not just facts about the occurences of the day or week. My ex husband and i really felt this after our two children came along, so we decided that for the benefit of the family it would worthwhile for my husband and me to spend certain amount of time alone together each week. So we set out to plan at least one hour each week that we`d come together either at home after the kids were in bed or over dinner together out. We talk over thoughts and feelings, activities past and future, hopes and desires for ourselves and family and friends. "These have been fun, helpful and wonderful times together and have benefited our children so much more than the short time we`re away from them. We`ve had to skip some weeks because of emergencies, but the results in our relationships and with our children have been so good that we`ve gotten right back on track the following week. Also, for those weeks....months... a year? we`ve felt the lack of communication through short tempers, work problem schedules, distance love relationship that leads to often misunderstanding .... :-/" |
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Title: Re: Marriage Post by Gracia on Aug 11th, 2006, 12:07pm [qoute]I am sure my grand parents had hard times in thier marriages but I still see the two 70 year old people chasing each other around like newly weds. [/quote] That's one of the things i'd like my marriage be when I reach that age. I am hoping we can still hold hands and laugh like children. God willing. When we stroll and saw old couples going out together, I'll ask my husband, can we be like that when we get that old or if ever God give us the chance to get old? "why not?" he said. In my thought, whoever husband said to his wife in the face, that "no, i can't be like that!" That will be the height of rudeness. Anyway, that's something to look forward to and hope for. Pray gracie. |
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Title: Re: Marriage Post by Wicked_Witch on Oct 4th, 2006, 2:41pm If a couple can reach old age and still able to laugh and walk hand in hand, then no matter what they have gone thru in the past, that's what I will call the "perfect marriage". Because in marriages, a couple will always meet a lot of trials and misunderstandings. They may choose to seperate for a while but if they get back to each other and grow old together laughing, walking, reminiscing.... then it's the best marriage. |
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Title: Re: Marriage Post by bad_day_me on Feb 25th, 2008, 1:09pm Love seems the swiftest but it is the slowest of all growths. No man or woman really knows what perfect love is until they have been married a quarter of a century |
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Title: Re: Marriage Post by bad_day_me on Feb 25th, 2008, 1:11pm Few things help an individual more than to place responsibility upon him, and to let him know that you trust him. |
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