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Title: Beer Troubleshooting Post by MissFartyPants on May 28th, 2004, 5:38am SYMPTOM: Feet cold and wet. FAULT: Glass being held at incorrect angle. ACTION: Rotate glass so that open end points toward ceiling. SYMPTOM: Feet warm and wet. FAULT: Improper bladder control. ACTION: Stand next to nearest dog, complain about house training. SYMPTOM: Beer unusually pale and tasteless. FAULT: Glass empty. ACTION: Get someone to buy you another beer. SYMPTOM: Opposite wall covered with fluorescent lights. FAULT: You have fallen over backward. ACTION: Have yourself chained to bar. SYMPTOM: Mouth contains cigarette butts. FAULT: You have fallen forward. ACTION: See above. SYMPTOM: Beer tasteless, front of your shirt is wet. FAULT: Mouth not open, or glass applied to wrong part of face. ACTION: Retire to restroom, practice in mirror. SYMPTOM: Floor blurred. FAULT: You are looking through bottom of empty glass. ACTION: Get someone to buy you another beer. SYMPTOM: Floor moving. FAULT: You are being carried out. ACTION: Find out if you are being taken to another bar. SYMPTOM: Room seems unusually dark. FAULT: Bar has closed. ACTION: Confirm home address with bartender, take taxi home. SYMPTOM: Truck suddenly takes on colorful aspect and textures. FAULT: Beer consumption has exceeded personal limitations. ACTION: Cover mouth. SYMPTOM: Everyone looks up to you and laughs. FAULT: You are dancing on the table. ACTION: Fall on somebody cushy looking. SYMPTOM: Beer is crystal clear. FAULT: It's water. Somebody is trying to sober you up. ACTION: Punch him. SYMPTOM: Hands hurt, nose hurts, mind unusually clear. FAULT: You have been in a fight. ACTION: Apologize to everyone you see, just in case it was them. SYMPTOM: Don't recognize anyone, don't recognize the room you're in. FAULT: You've wandered into the wrong party. ACTION: See if they have free beer. SYMPTOM: Your singing sounds distorted. FAULT: The beer is too weak. ACTION: Have more beer until your voice improves. SYMPTOM: Don't remember the words to the song. FAULT: Beer is just right. ACTION: Play air guitar. |
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Title: Re: Beer Troubleshooting Post by mylane on May 28th, 2004, 7:49pm nice one Miss Cath ;D I like this one: SYMPTOM: Beer unusually pale and tasteless. FAULT: Glass empty. ACTION: Get someone to buy you another beer. ahihihihi ;D |
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Title: Re: Beer Troubleshooting Post by MissFartyPants on May 28th, 2004, 9:57pm Thanks, My! ;D I like everything that tells you to get another beer. http://secure.terrabage.com/~freeworl/groups/YaBBImages/icon_drink2.gif ;D |
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Title: Re: Beer Troubleshooting Post by need4speed8dalejr on Jul 1st, 2004, 10:57pm http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v215/need4speed8dalejr/draft.jpg http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v215/need4speed8dalejr/bud-light.jpg |
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Title: Re: Beer Troubleshooting Post by bad_day_me on Dec 4th, 2006, 2:28am [smiley=icon_drink.gif] he he he !!!! i like this topic.... SYMPTOM: Beer needs more ice to to taste good.. FAULT: empty barrel ... ACTION: grabbed the mic and sing all night... ha ha ha!!! [smiley=icon_drink.gif] |
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