1freeworld Groups (http://www.1freeworld.net/cgi-bin/Yabb/YaBB.cgi)
On the Lighter Side >> Jokes & Humor >> EU commission adopts English as official language
(Message started by: earthlingorgeous on Aug 16th, 2005, 9:54am)

Title: EU commission adopts English as official language
Post by earthlingorgeous on Aug 16th, 2005, 9:54am
The European Commission has just announced an
agreement whereby English will be the official
language of the European Union rather than
German, which was the other possibility. As part
of the negotiations, the British Government
conceded that English spelling had some room for
improvement and has accepted a 5-year phase-in
plan that would become known as "Euro-English".

1. In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c".
Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump
with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour
of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and
keyboards kan have one less letter.

2. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the
sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be
replaced with "f". This will make words like
fotograf 20% shorter.

3. In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new
spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where
more komplikated changes are possible.
Governments will enkourage the removal of double
letters which have always ben a deterent to
akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the
horibl mes of the silent "e" in the language is
disgrasful and it should go away.

4. By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps
such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".

5. During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be
dropd from vords containing "ou" and after ziz fifz
yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no
mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi
tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil
finali kum tru.

Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German
like zey vunted in ze forst plas.

If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl! =)



1freeworld Groups » Powered by YaBB 1 Gold - SP 1.3.2!
YaBB © 2000-2003. All Rights Reserved.