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        Romance & Relationships >> All About Sex >> how to tell your lover that he/she is not doing th
        
(Message started by: kim on May 6th, 2005, 10:41am)
Title: how to tell your lover that he/she is not doing th
Post by kim on May 6th, 2005, 10:41am
how to tell your lover that he/she is not doing the right thing?

Have you ever made love to a guy/gal that you really really love but who is so bad in bed?

How do you fix this dilema? How do you tell him that what he is doing is not pleasing you?

I've said it before n i'll say it again that sex is not the center of a relationship. But to have a good sex life with the one you love will make it all the more lasting...
Title: Re: how to say he's not doing the right thing...
Post by mylane on May 13th, 2005, 7:51am
Have a good talk with him. Get naked on the bed (both), then talk to him through the whole thing. Be very vocal and make sure he knows that you find him talking about it not only sexy but educational as well cause you're learning how to please each other.

lol lol lol ;D
Title: Re: how to say he's not doing the right thing...
Post by kim on May 16th, 2005, 3:14am
talking about it is the best thing that you could do. But some guys dont like being told what to do right? Its the MALE EGO thing  ::)
Title: Re: how to say he's not doing the right thing...
Post by mylane on May 16th, 2005, 4:39am
about the ego....hmmm nothing we can do so just directly tell him that he damn so  bad in bed and a very lousy lover that you rather watch a porno film than making out with him.... ;D


lol lol lol ;D
Title: Re: how to say he's not doing the right thing...
Post by kim on May 16th, 2005, 4:45am
mymy  ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: how to say he's not doing the right thing...
Post by Hernando on Jul 18th, 2005, 8:44pm

on 05/13/05 at 07:51:41, mylane wrote:
Have a good talk with him. Get naked on the bed (both), then talk to him through the whole thing. Be very vocal and make sure he knows that you find him talking about it not only sexy but educational as well cause you're learning how to please each other.

lol lol lol ;D


nice way of communicating with your partner, just be very vocal with affection ;)
Title: Re: how to say he's not doing the right thing...
Post by kim on Jul 19th, 2005, 11:08am
OMG Hernando is ALIVE!!!!!!!  :o  ;D. Welcum back hernando  :P
Title: Re: how to say he's not doing the right thing...
Post by Christian on Jul 20th, 2005, 11:23am
i think you should rename this post to "how to tell your lover that he/she is not doing the right thing"...i often find girls my age lack experience or technique in sex, a lot of them seem to lie still and just expect the guy to pump away. I think sex is a two way street, pardon the pun. Both people need to be involved at a similar level, then the sex will be explosive. It's not just a simple in and out technique. I find the best sex involves not only pelvis grinding but sensual contact involving kissing, position the body in a variety of ways and gaining a level of penetration that will not make my girl feel pain but only pleasure - this level of penetration seems to be different for each girl. However, I do have a problem in that girls my age dont seem to have much knowledge about sex. Hence, the best sex I have had has always been with older women - stereotypical as it may be, it has proved to be the truth in my case.
Title: Re: how to say he's not doing the right thing...
Post by Wicked_Witch on Jul 20th, 2005, 12:40pm
I do it in a simple but effective way. When he starts touching you, MOAN if you're a moaner and SCREAM if you're a screamer if you like what he's doing. ;D Keep your silence when you dont. He's bound to notice the change in you and would surely change his style. This is sure to happen if your partner is senstive enought to ur needs and pleasure and wants so hard to please you. [smiley=love2.gif] [smiley=love2.gif] [smiley=love2.gif]
Title: Re: how to say he's not doing the right thing...
Post by kim on Jul 22nd, 2005, 10:06am

on 07/20/05 at 11:23:24, Christian wrote:
i think you should rename this post to "how to tell your lover that he/she is not doing the right thing"...i often find girls my age lack experience or technique in sex, a lot of them seem to lie still and just expect the guy to pump away. I think sex is a two way street, pardon the pun. Both people need to be involved at a similar level, then the sex will be explosive. It's not just a simple in and out technique. I find the best sex involves not only pelvis grinding but sensual contact involving kissing, position the body in a variety of ways and gaining a level of penetration that will not make my girl feel pain but only pleasure - this level of penetration seems to be different for each girl. However, I do have a problem in that girls my age dont seem to have much knowledge about sex. Hence, the best sex I have had has always been with older women - stereotypical as it may be, it has proved to be the truth in my case.


Your age? Errr what age are you in in the first place?  ;D

Yes its true that love making is a two way street but lets face it, most women are not comfortable in letting their partener know what they want. And sad to say that some men dont even care just as long as they finish  >:(...  

And about that "level of penetration"... you know you're the first guy that i'v ever heard to talk about that. It is a very simple thing to do n yet men dont seem to take notice of it. Not all women want it deep specially if they are too damn small!!!!  ;D
Title: Re: how to say he's not doing the right thing...
Post by kim on Jul 22nd, 2005, 10:10am

on 07/20/05 at 12:40:23, Wicked_Witch wrote:
I do it in a simple but effective way. When he starts touching you, MOAN if you're a moaner and SCREAM if you're a screamer if you like what he's doing. ;D Keep your silence when you dont. He's bound to notice the change in you and would surely change his style. This is sure to happen if your partner is senstive enought to ur needs and pleasure and wants so hard to please you. [smiley=love2.gif] [smiley=love2.gif] [smiley=love2.gif]



SAD TO SAY THAT THERE ARE SO MANY INSENSITVE GUYS ALL OVER THE WORLD....
Title: Re: how to say he's not doing the right thing...
Post by Wicked_Witch on Jul 26th, 2005, 3:31am

on 07/20/05 at 11:23:24, Christian wrote:
                                           the best sex I have had has always been with older women - stereotypical as it may be, it has proved to be the truth in my case.




Hello, Christian [smiley=icon_dance.gif]I swear am not ancient, just old. [smiley=roll.gif] [smiley=roll.gif] [smiley=roll.gif]
Title: Re: how to say he's not doing the right thing...
Post by Wicked_Witch on Jul 26th, 2005, 3:38am

on 07/22/05 at 10:10:46, kim wrote:
SAD TO SAY THAT THERE ARE SO MANY INSENSITVE GUYS ALL OVER THE WORLD....



I agree, Kimmy. I think women should not be made to suffer the insensitivity of men especially if the woman enjoys sex as much as the man. If I ever meet a man like that I will surely make it known to him. I'll stop him and ask "hey, are you sure you're not a greenhorn?"...Or "hey, are you sure you know how to do it right?" I can be insulting too if im being insulted by not treating me properly. [smiley=thinking2.gif]
Title: Re: how to say he's not doing the right thing...
Post by kim on Jul 28th, 2005, 11:17am
"you can touch my skin n kiss my lips but if you touch my heart then you will know that i'll be yours. HEart n mind, body n soul"  ;)
Title: Re: how to say he's not doing the right thing...
Post by thebeast on Jul 29th, 2005, 1:36am

on 05/16/05 at 03:14:32, kim wrote:
talking about it is the best thing that you could do. But some guys dont like being told what to do right? Its the MALE EGO thing  ::)


Well Kim its really not about the male ego thing because  there is a difference between talking about it and being told what to do. Nobody likes a know it all or a boss...especially in bed. lol The trick I think is to get him to do what you want by letting him think it is his idea. Or what what about just asking nicely would be a good way maybe.
Title: Re: how to tell your lover that he/she is not doin
Post by Wicked_Witch on Jul 30th, 2005, 5:31am
I would never dream of instructing my man verbally on what to do or how to touch me. If he's stupid enough not to know what I like best...then screw him :P
Title: Re: how to tell your lover that he/she is not doin
Post by Christian on Jul 31st, 2005, 5:38am
i agree with the beast... everyone is sensitive if you approach something in the wrong fashion, the trick is to be careful in the way you address and instruct someone how to do something....
Title: Re: how to tell your lover that he/she is not doin
Post by kim on Aug 1st, 2005, 8:19am
joel n cristian.... THATS EXACTLY WHAT I CALL "MALE IGO"... if i were your gf n we were making love n i'd tell you to do this or that or go left or right you'd get offended?

Its not suppose to be viewed a master n slave thing. Sex is a two way street n if i am not doing what you want i'd rather you tell me or guide me to what i shoudl do other than ending up with bad sex  ;D
Title: Re: how to tell your lover that he/she is not doin
Post by thebeast on Aug 2nd, 2005, 2:12am

on 07/30/05 at 05:31:55, Wicked_Witch wrote:
I would never dream of instructing my man verbally on what to do or how to touch me. If he's stupid enough not to know what I like best...then screw him :P



Damn.... I guess males gotta be mind readers also lol
Title: Re: how to tell your lover that he/she is not doin
Post by thebeast on Aug 2nd, 2005, 2:20am

on 08/01/05 at 08:19:08, kim wrote:
joel n cristian.... THATS EXACTLY WHAT I CALL "MALE IGO"... if i were your gf n we were making love n i'd tell you to do this or that or go left or right you'd get offended?

Its not suppose to be viewed a master n slave thing. Sex is a two way street n if i am not doing what you want i'd rather you tell me or guide me to what i shoudl do other than ending up with bad sex  ;D


Its the word tell is the key Kim...If you keep saying go left go right do this do that...soon the dude is gonna say screw this I gonna do whatever I want or dump you..and i think females would be the same way for the most part if a dude telling u all this stuff to do she gonna get offended also..dont got nothing to do with male ego... Christian is right has to do with the way you approach it. Everyone has an ego regardless what sex you are. If you human u have an ego..another word for ego could be feelings..so when you say you hurt someones feelings in reality you are also hurting their ego.
Title: Re: how to tell your lover that he/she is not doin
Post by Wicked_Witch on Aug 2nd, 2005, 3:00am

on 08/02/05 at 02:12:55, thebeast wrote:
Damn.... I guess males gotta be mind readers also lol


Nahhh...not really a mindreader, just sensitive enough to know that ur partner likes what ur doing to her or that she wants u to something else or more :P
Title: Re: how to tell your lover that he/she is not doin
Post by thebeast on Aug 3rd, 2005, 2:33am
One more comment on this male ego thing and then I will drop it. Listen... I dont know it all and I dont pretend to know it all either. But when you females the use male ego thing as an exscuse that  a male is a certain way you are only doing yourselves injustice...because you are the same way...case in point///// A male and a woman are getting dressed after sex to go out to eat.... the female asks the male...honey do I look fat to you and give my your honest opinion??? Guys dont fall for this its a trap. Whatever you do, dont be honest if you love her. I made the mistake of being honest and it will probably haunt me till the day I die. My lover asked me this and she told me to be honest(I was very young and did not know any better) so I told her yes she could lose a few pounds if she wanted to, but it didnt matter to me cause I loved her. Well....after I answered..I got a whole bunch of comments on my imperfections as well that I didnt even ask for. She was hurt that I told her the truth....so you see everyone including females have an ego...so its best just to admit it and deal with it and try not to damage each other egos. So guys if you love the woman who ask you this....LIE LIE LIE... ;D
Title: Re: how to tell your lover that he/she is not doin
Post by Christian on Aug 3rd, 2005, 5:47pm

on 08/01/05 at 08:19:08, kim wrote:
joel n cristian.... THATS EXACTLY WHAT I CALL "MALE IGO"... if i were your gf n we were making love n i'd tell you to do this or that or go left or right you'd get offended?

Its not suppose to be viewed a master n slave thing. Sex is a two way street n if i am not doing what you want i'd rather you tell me or guide me to what i shoudl do other than ending up with bad sex  ;D


I think you're missing the point of what me and thebeast mean... I am not easily offended, but we're just pointing out that there are tactical ways to not offend men about their lovemaking ability. I think this applies for both women and men alike.  :-/

I also contend that everyone has the potential to satisfy their partner and if any individual feels unsatisfied by their partner, its probably that individual's problem...they are probably not communicating their needs or wants in an effective manner.  :-/
Title: Re: how to tell your lover that he/she is not doin
Post by Wicked_Witch on Aug 4th, 2005, 2:51am

on 08/03/05 at 02:33:20, thebeast wrote:
                                        the female asks the male...honey do I look fat to you and give my your honest opinion???  


Dang, Joel, now that's what I call an insensitive lout! [smiley=roll.gif]You will need to understand first the makings of a woman's mind, I think, before you can have a successful relationship with one ;DWhen a woman asks you that question, you are supposed to tell her she is beautiful. And then you start to list down all her good qualities. So that means you should be lying!LMAO!!
[smiley=roll.gif] [smiley=roll.gif] [smiley=roll.gif]
Title: Re: how to tell your lover that he/she is not doin
Post by kim on Aug 4th, 2005, 6:29am
well heck i dont mean tell your lover "hey you ass you're so stupid you're doing the wrong thing"  ;D... you can talk to your partner n tell her/him to do what you want n still sound sexy n as horny as hell... I mean do i have to do a demonstration here or what???
Title: Re: how to tell your lover that he/she is not doin
Post by thebeast on Aug 6th, 2005, 2:28am
okay kim demonstrate ;D
Title: Re: how to tell your lover that he/she is not doin
Post by thebeast on Aug 6th, 2005, 2:29am

on 08/04/05 at 02:51:00, Wicked_Witch wrote:
Dang, Joel, now that's what I call an insensitive lout! [smiley=roll.gif]You will need to understand first the makings of a woman's mind, I think, before you can have a successful relationship with one ;DWhen a woman asks you that question, you are supposed to tell her she is beautiful. And then you start to list down all her good qualities. So that means you should be lying!LMAO!!
[smiley=roll.gif] [smiley=roll.gif] [smiley=roll.gif]


listen edith all I am saying is that everyone has egos thats the point
Title: Re: how to tell your lover that he/she is not doin
Post by Wicked_Witch on Aug 6th, 2005, 3:17am

on 08/06/05 at 02:29:58, thebeast wrote:
listen edith all I am saying is that everyone has egos thats the point


Of course, Joel. Some men are even as vain as some women.So its like, you do your thing, I'll do mine. But what about the lack of communication? [smiley=icon_drink.gif]Shucks, Im contradicting myself here! But what the heck, let's argue some more ;D
[smiley=icon_dance.gif]
Title: Re: how to tell your lover that he/she is not doin
Post by wicked1 on Aug 10th, 2005, 1:27am
Ok , here goes my first , and not last post ...This is a very touchy subject for both males and females ..Anyway , in my opinion ,everyone is different of course .. What works for some , surely wont work for others ..if i were doing something wrong or not at all , i would want  the girl to come straight at me and tell me her wishes ... on the other hand , if shes not doing something or nothing at all , i would  choose my wording  carefully so that she isnt offended or totally crushed ...Forget  my feelings , its all about her !!!!
Title: Re: how to tell your lover that he/she is not doin
Post by kim on Aug 18th, 2005, 10:46am
ITs all about the way to say it or act it... Monanign the right way is one thing. Heck dont moan at all if you dont liek what he's doing  ;D...

And ok Joel i'll do a demonstration  ;D Now who's interested to be my demo partner?  ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: how to tell your lover that he/she is not doin
Post by somebody on Dec 31st, 2005, 3:04am
I talk a lot during sex (LOL I know this is bad).  And I'm not afraid to give instructions and I am not a bit offended if he gives me instructions.  Heck, tell me what to do...I can't read your mind.  Why waste your time doing it if one of you is not enjoying it?
Title: Re: how to tell your lover that he/she is not doin
Post by astrobloke on Jan 2nd, 2006, 4:53am
Yep damn its soul destroying for a guy to be doing his thing, and the woman is not responding. The fact is that different lovers like different things and what drives one girl wild, doesnt work for another.
I would much rather a soft word, or a guiding hand, than to feel I have wasted my time and a negative experience.

Having said that, some womens egos are very offended by the slightest hint theyre not doing something right ::)
Title: Re: how to tell your lover that he/she is not doin
Post by Wicked_Witch on Jan 8th, 2006, 12:53am
I guess a smart guy needs to be observant, too eh? Get all your senses alert to your partner's body language? Actually words are not really necessary if you do not want to offend your partner. ;)
Title: Re: how to tell your lover that he/she is not doin
Post by kim on Jan 9th, 2006, 12:15pm
its all about communication.... Act, observe, learn, teach and enjoy  ;)
Title: Re: how to tell your lover that he/she is not doin
Post by okasantina on Jul 10th, 2006, 7:23pm
if not get his hand and move it on all over around yah....lol .. that will help him to realize what u like  ;D
Title: Re: how to tell your lover that he/she is not doin
Post by Wicked_Witch on Jul 11th, 2006, 6:38am
how about hitting him on the head and tell him he's a dumby? [smiley=smash.gif] [smiley=smash.gif] [smiley=smash.gif] [smiley=roll.gif] [smiley=roll.gif] [smiley=roll.gif] [smiley=spank.gif] [smiley=spank.gif]
Title: Re: how to tell your lover that he/she is not doin
Post by bad_day_me on Nov 24th, 2006, 4:58pm
i will kick him outta bed so he will realized that he is not doin


the right thing!!!  [smiley=rock.gif] [smiley=rock.gif]


[smiley=rock.gif] [smiley=rock.gif] [smiley=rock.gif]


[smiley=rock.gif] [smiley=rock.gif] [smiley=rock.gif]


[smiley=rock.gif] [smiley=rock.gif] [smiley=rock.gif]
Title: Re: how to tell your lover that he/she is not doin
Post by kim on Nov 28th, 2006, 2:07pm

on 07/11/06 at 06:38:31, Wicked_Witch wrote:
how about hitting him on the head and tell him he's a dumby? [smiley=smash.gif] [smiley=smash.gif] [smiley=smash.gif] [smiley=roll.gif] [smiley=roll.gif] [smiley=roll.gif] [smiley=spank.gif] [smiley=spank.gif]



hahahahaha momma i like this suggestion... I'll try this sometime n i'll let ya know what wll happen  ;D ;)
Title: Re: how to tell your lover that he/she is not doin
Post by bad_day_me on Dec 5th, 2006, 2:26am

ha ha ha !!! kim, mom suggestion was great!!! hitting him on head for sure that man would realized he is not doin it!!!



                                           [smiley=smash.gif]
Title: Re: how to tell your lover that he/she is not doin
Post by Wicked_Witch on Dec 5th, 2006, 5:10am
Ladies, ladies, you are all so violent. Calm down, will ya? Nyahahaha! Hey, I got another idea...why not pretend to be a dumby also and let him feel what it feels like when he wants to reach orgasm but the woman don't know how to give it to him?:D But then if he's THAT dumb, he might think it's the way it's done!

 [smiley=silly.gif] [smiley=silly.gif] [smiley=silly.gif]


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